Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
“Do you want a drink?” he asked.
She did not change. Unheeding, uncaring, she stood on the sofa,
standing back, alone, her hands shut and half lifted, her face, all
tears, raised and blind. And through the sobbing and choking came the
broken:
“I—want—my—mother.”
“Do you want a drink?” he said again.
There was no answer. He lifted the stiff, denying body between his
hands. Its stiff blindness made a flash of rage go through him. He
would like to break it.
He set the child on his knee, and sat again in his chair beside the
fire, the wet, sobbing, inarticulate noise going on near his ear, the
child sitting stiff, not yielding to him or anything, not aware.
A new degree of anger came over him. What did it all matter? What did
it matter if the mother talked Polish and cried in labour, if this
child were stiff with resistance, and crying? Why take it to heart? Let
the mother cry in labour, let the child cry in resistance, since they
would do so. Why should he fight against it, why resist? Let it be, if
it were so. Let them be as they were, if they insisted.
And in a daze he sat, offering no fight. The child cried on, the
minutes ticked away, a sort of torpor was on him.
It was some little time before he came to, and turned to attend to the
child. He was shocked by her little wet, blinded face. A bit dazed, he
pushed back the wet hair. Like a living statue of grief, her blind face
cried on.
“Nay,” he said, “not as bad as that. It’s not as bad as that, Anna, my
child. Come, what are you crying for so much? Come, stop now, it’ll
make you sick. I wipe you dry, don’t wet your face any more. Don’t cry
any more wet tears, don’t, it’s better not to. Don’t cry—it’s not so
bad as all that. Hush now, hush—let it be enough.”
His voice was queer and distant and calm. He looked at the child. She
was beside herself now. He wanted her to stop, he wanted it all to
stop, to become natural.
“Come,” he said, rising to turn away, “we’ll go an’ supper-up the
beast.”
He took a big shawl, folded her round, and went out into the kitchen
for a lantern.
“You’re never taking the child out, of a night like this,” said Tilly.
“Ay, it’ll quieten her,” he answered.
It was raining. The child was suddenly still, shocked, finding the rain
on its face, the darkness.
“We’ll just give the cows their something-to-eat, afore they go to
bed,” Brangwen was saying to her, holding her close and sure.
There was a trickling of water into the butt, a burst of rain-drops
sputtering on to her shawl, and the light of the lantern swinging,
flashing on a wet pavement and the base of a wet wall. Otherwise it was
black darkness: one breathed darkness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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