France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Fiction; Historical fiction
I followed him with a burning face, down the narrow lane of shining
parquet, under the chandelier, between the lines of mocking eyes; and
not a man interposed. In dead silence I followed him to the door.
There he stood aside, and bowed to me, and I to him; and I walked out
mechanically--walked out alone.
I passed through the lobby. The crowd of peeping, grinning lackeys
that filled it stared at me, all eyes; but I was scarcely conscious of
their impertinence or their presence. Until I reached the street, and
the cold air revived me, I went like a man stunned, and unable to
think. The blow had fallen on me so suddenly, so unexpectedly.
When I did come a little to myself, my first feeling was rage. I had
gone into M. de St. Alais' house that evening, possessing everything;
I came out, stripped of friends, reputation, my betrothed! I had gone
in, trusting to his friendship, the friendship that was a tradition in
our families; he had worsted me by a trick. I stood in the street, and
groaned as I thought of it; as I pictured the sorry figure I had cut
amongst them, and reflected on what was before me.
For, presently, I began to think that I had been a fool--that I should
have given way. I could not, as I stood in the street there, foresee
the future; nor know for certain that the old France was passing, and
that even now, in Paris, its death-knell had gone forth. I had to live
by the opinions of the people round me; to think, as I paced the
streets, how I should face the company to-morrow, and whether I should
fly, or whether I should fight. For in the meeting on the morrow----
Ah! the Assembly. The word turned my thoughts into a new channel. I
could have my revenge there. That I might not raise a jarring note
_there_, they had cajoled me, and when cajolery failed, had insulted
me. Well, I would show them that the new way would succeed no better
than the old, and that where they had thought to suppress a Saux they
had raised a Mirabeau. From this point I passed the night in a fever.
Resentment spurred ambition; rage against my caste, a love of the
people. Every sign of misery and famine that had passed before my eyes
during the day recurred now, and was garnered for use. The early
daylight found me still pacing my room, still thinking, composing,
reciting; when André, my old body-servant, who had been also my
father's, came at seven with a note in his hand, I was still in my
clothes.
Doubtless he had heard downstairs a garbled account of what had
occurred, and my cheek burned. I took no notice of his gloomy looks,
however, but, without speaking, I opened the note. It was not signed,
but the handwriting was Louis'.
"Go home," it ran, "and do not show yourself at the Assembly. They
will challenge you one by one; the event is certain. Leave Cahors at
once, or you are a dead man."
That was all! I smiled bitterly at the weakness of the man who could
do no more for his friend than this.
"Who gave it to you?" I asked André.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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