What shall I say of such as cry up and maintain the cheat of pardons and indulgences? That by these compute the time of each soul's residence in purgatory, and assign them a longer and shorter continuance, according as they purchase more or fewer of these paltry pardons and saleable exemptions? Or what can be said bad enough of others, who pretend that by the force of such magical charms, or by the fumbling over their beads in the rehearsal of such and such petitions, which some religious impostors invented, either for diversion or what is more likely for advantage; they shall procure riches, honour, pleasure, health, long life, and lusty old age, nay, after death a sitting at the right hand of our Saviour in His kingdom. Though as to this last part of their happiness, they care not how long it be deferred, having scarce any appetite towards a tasting the joys of heaven; till they are surfeited, glutted with, and can no longer relish their enjoyments on earth. By this easy way of purchasing pardons, any notorious highwayman, any plundering soldier, or any bribe-taking judge, shall disburse some part of their unjust gains, and so think all their grossest impieties sufficiently atoned for. So many perjuries, lusts, drunkeness, quarrels, bloodsheds, cheats, treacheries, and all sorts of debaucheries, shall all be as it were, struck a bargain for, and such a contract made, as if they had paid off all arrears and might now begin upon a new score. And what can be more ridiculous, than for some others to be confident of going to heaven by repeating daily those seven verses out of the Psalms which the devil taught St. Bernard, thinking thereby to have put a trick on him, but that he was overreached in his cunning. And of all the prayers and intercessions that are made to these respective saints the substance of them is no more than downright folly. Among all the trophies that for tokens of gratitude are hung upon the walls and ceilings of churches, you shall find no relics presented as a memorandum of any that were ever cured of folly or had been made one dram the wiser. Almost all Christians being wretchedly enslaved to blindness and ignorance, which the priests are so far from preventing or removing, that they blacken the darkness, and promote delusion. Wisely forseeing that the people, like cows, which never give down their milk so well as when they are gently stroked, would part with less if they knew more, their bounty only proceeding from a mistake of Charity.