The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
Chumps was always very good to me, although I was under his lowest
waistcoat-button. For my father was a very good customer of that eminent
butcher his father; not only when he wanted a choice bit of meat, but
also as taking at a contract-price all bones that could not be sent out
at a shilling a pound, as well as all the refuse fat, which now makes
the best fresh butter.
In reply to that important question, I looked up at Chumps, with a
mixture of hesitation and gratitude. Being a sensitive boy, I found it
so hard to give an opinion without offence to elder minds, yet so
foolish to seem to have no opinion, and to spoil all the honour of being
consulted. A sense of responsibility made me pause, and ponder,
concerning the best of all the many good things there are to eat, and to
lay "mechanically," as novelists express it, both hands upon a certain
empty portion of my organization, when Dr. Rumbelow arose!
We did not expect him to get up yet for nearly three-quarters of an
hour, unless any boy wanted caning; and at first a cold tremor ran
through our inmost bones, because we respected him so deeply. But a
glance at his countenance reassured us. The doctor stood up, with his
college-cap on, a fine smile lifting his gabled eyebrows (as the evening
sun lights up gray thatch), his tall frame thrown back, and his terrible
right hand peacefully, under his waistcoat, loosening the button of
didactic cincture. He spread forth the other hand, with no cane in it;
and a yawn--such as we should have had a smack for--came to keep company
with his smile.
"Boys!" he shouted, sternly at first, from the force of habit when we
made a noise; "boys, Lacedæmonians, Partheneionidæ, hearken to the words
which I, with friendly meaning, speak among you. It has been ordained by
the powers above, holding Olympian mansions, that all things come in
circling turn to mortal men who live on corn. Times there are for the
diligent study of the mighty minds of old, such as we, who now see light
of sun, and walk the many-feeding earth, may never hope to equal. But
again there are seasons, when the _dies festi_ must be held, and the
_feriæ Latinæ_, which a former pupil of mine translated 'a holiday from
Latin.' Such a season now is with us. Once more it has pleased the good
Lucina to visit our humble _tugurium_; and we are strictly called upon
to observe the _meditrinalia_. Since which things are so, it behoves me
to proclaim to all of you _feriæ tridui imperativæ_."
The doctor's speech had been so learned, that few of us were able to
make out his meaning. But Chumps was a boy of vast understanding, and
extraordinary culture.
"Three days' holiday. Holloa, boys, holloa!" cried Chumps, with his cap
going up to the roof. "Three days' holiday! Rump-steak for breakfast,
and lie a-bed up to nine o'clock. Hurrah, boys! holloa louder, louder,
louder! Again, again, again! Why, you don't half holloa!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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