(_Enter_ PAULINE _with the Dummy Husband under her arm. She throws it into a chair. Exit._) GRANDMA. There! That is our Ideal Husband. He is all a husband should be. He does not drink nor smoke. He does not go to the club at night. He never says an unkind word. And he is happy. Do you know why? SUSAN. Go ahead. I'll be the goat. What's the answer? GRANDMA. He is happy because we are kind to him. Because we coddle and pet him. I think, before I finally engage you, Miss Jones, I would like to see an example of your method of coddling and petting. (SUSAN _looks at the dummy thoughtfully, takes a step toward it and pauses, another step, and so on. Finally she jerks the dummy from the chair by the head and lays the head on her shoulder._) SUSAN. Poor hubby, does his poor head ache? (_pats dummy_) Was he out so late last night? (_puts dummy gently in chair_) Let little wifey rub his poor head, (_does so_) What did hubby say? All right, little wifey will tie a nice cold cloth around poor hubby's head. (does this) Now, kiss little wifey. (_kisses dummy_) What did hubby say? GRANDMA. What did he say? SUSAN. He said "For goodness sake get away from here and leave me alone. Can't you see I'm a sick man? Get out of here and stop bothering me." GRANDMA, (_admiringly_) How like a real man! And what do you do next? SUSAN. (_looking around_) I get a pillow. (_gets one from couch and puts it lade of dummy_) And I wrap up his feet (_does it_) There, poor dear. He's sleeping now. GRANDMA. Very good. You will do very well. Remember to teach that wives should obey their husbands and be kind to them. Husbands are such tender creatures. We should love them and obey them. I will see that your room is in order. No doubt you will wish to practise coddling the Ideal Husband a little longer before your classes begin. (_exit_ GRANDMA) SUSAN, (_alone_) Get off that chair, you big brute! (_jerks dummy of chair_) Come home intoxicated, will you? (_throws dummy back on chair_) Don't talk back to me! (_takes up dummy again_) You are going out, are you? Well, go out! (_walks toward screen with dummy_) Out you go! I'll stand no nonsense, I tell you! (_throws dummy behind screen_) Go, if you want to! There! Coddle and pet them! That's how I coddle and pet them! (_looks around_) This is a nice situation for Susan Jane Jones, Captain of Company A, First Regiment, Militant Suffragettes! But all is fair in Love and Votes for Women! This academy is the last stronghold of the old-fashioned woman, and from in it the tender young girls learn the vicious habits of keeping house, being good housewives and attending to their own affairs as their grandmothers did. From this root anti-suffragism might spread over the whole world, and I have crept in, like a spy, to corrupt and destroy it. Woman must and will rule! (_enter_ KATE _pouting_)