FAULKLAND Now disappointment on her!--Defend this, Absolute; why don't you defend this?--Country-dances! jigs and reels! am I to blame now? A minuet I could have forgiven--I should not have minded that--I say I should not have regarded a minuet--but country-dances!--Zounds! had she made one in a cotillion--I believe I could have forgiven even that--but to be monkey-led for a night!--to run the gauntlet through a string of amorous palming puppies!--to show paces like a managed filly!--Oh, Jack, there never can be but one man in the world whom a truly modest and delicate woman ought to pair with in a country-dance; and, even then, the rest of the couples should be her great-uncles and aunts! ABSOLUTE Ay, to be sure!--grandfathers and grandmothers! FAULKLAND If there be but one vicious mind in the set, 'twill spread like a contagion--the action of their pulse beats to the lascivious movement of the jig--their quivering, warm-breathed sighs impregnate the very air--the atmosphere becomes electrical to love, and each amorous spark darts through every link of the chain!--I must leave you--I own I am somewhat flurried--and that confounded looby has perceived it. [Going.] ABSOLUTE Nay, but stay, Faulkland, and thank Mr. Acres for his good news. FAULKLAND Damn his news! [Exit.] ABSOLUTE Ha! ha! ha! poor Faulkland five minutes since--"nothing on earth could give him a moment's uneasiness!" ACRES The gentleman wa'n't angry at my praising his mistress, was he? ABSOLUTE A little jealous, I believe, Bob. ACRES You don't say so? Ha! ha! jealous of me--that's a good joke. ABSOLUTE There's nothing strange in that, Bob; let me tell you, that sprightly grace and insinuating manner of yours will do some mischief among the girls here. ACRES Ah! you joke--ha! ha! mischief--ha! ha! but you know I am not my own property, my dear Lydia has forestalled me. She could never abide me in the country, because I used to dress so badly--but odds frogs and tambours! I shan't take matters so here, now ancient madam has no voice in it: I'll make my old clothes know who's master. I shall straightway cashier the hunting-frock, and render my leather breeches incapable. My hair has been in training some time. ABSOLUTE Indeed! ACRES Ay--and tho'ff the side curls are a little restive, my hind-part takes it very kindly. ABSOLUTE Ah, you'll polish, I doubt not. ACRES Absolutely I propose so--then if I can find out this Ensign Beverley, odds triggers and flints! I'll make him know the difference o't. ABSOLUTE Spoke like a man! But pray, Bob, I observe you have got an odd kind of a new method of swearing----