Sir ANTHONY Why then, Jack, my dear Jack, I will now inform you who the lady really is. Nothing but your passion and violence, you silly fellow, prevented my telling you at first. Prepare, Jack, for wonder and rapture--prepare. What think you of Miss Lydia Languish? ABSOLUTE Languish! What, the Languishes of Worcestershire? Sir ANTHONY Worcestershire! no. Did you never meet Mrs. Malaprop and her niece, Miss Languish, who came into our country just before you were last ordered to your regiment? ABSOLUTE Malaprop! Languish! I don't remember ever to have heard the names before. Yet, stay--I think I do recollect something. Languish! Languish! She squints, don't she? A little red-haired girl? Sir ANTHONY Squints! A red-haired girl! Zounds! no. ABSOLUTE Then I must have forgot; it can't be the same person. Sir ANTHONY Jack! Jack! what think you of blooming, love-breathing seventeen? ABSOLUTE As to that, sir, I am quite indifferent. If I can please you in the matter, 'tis all I desire. Sir ANTHONY Nay, but Jack, such eyes! such eyes! so innocently wild! so bashfully irresolute! not a glance but speaks and kindles some thought of love! Then, Jack, her cheeks! her cheeks, Jack! so deeply blushing at the insinuations of her tell-tale eyes! Then, Jack, her lips! O, Jack, lips smiling at their own discretion; and if not smiling, more sweetly pouting; more lovely in sullenness! ABSOLUTE [Aside.] That's she, indeed. Well done, old gentleman. Sir ANTHONY Then, Jack, her neck! O Jack! Jack! ABSOLUTE And which is to be mine, sir, the niece, or the aunt? Sir ANTHONY Why, you unfeeling, insensible puppy, I despise you! When I was of your age, such a description would have made me fly like a rocket! The aunt indeed! Odds life! when I ran away with your mother, I would not have touched anything old or ugly to gain an empire. ABSOLUTE Not to please your father, sir? Sir ANTHONY To please my father! zounds! not to please--Oh, my father--odd so!--yes--yes; if my father indeed had desired--that's quite another matter. Though he wa'n't the indulgent father that I am, Jack. ABSOLUTE I dare say not, sir. Sir ANTHONY But, Jack, you are not sorry to find your mistress is so beautiful? ABSOLUTE Sir, I repeat it--if I please you in this affair, 'tis all I desire. Not that I think a woman the worse for being handsome; but, sir, if you please to recollect, you before hinted something about a hump or two, one eye, and a few more graces of that kind--now, without being very nice, I own I should rather choose a wife of mine to have the usual number of limbs, and a limited quantity of back: and though one eye may be very agreeable, yet as the prejudice has always run in favour of two, I would not wish to affect a singularity in that article.