Sir ANTHONY What a phlegmatic sot it is! Why, sirrah, you're an anchorite!--a vile, insensible stock. You a soldier!--you're a walking block, fit only to dust the company's regimentals on! Odds life! I have a great mind to marry the girl myself! ABSOLUTE I am entirely at your disposal, sir: if you should think of addressing Miss Languish yourself, I suppose you would have me marry the aunt; or if you should change your mind, and take the old lady--'tis the same to me--I'll marry the niece. Sir ANTHONY Upon my word, Jack, thou'rt either a very great hypocrite, or--but, come, I know your indifference on such a subject must be all a lie--I'm sure it must--come, now--damn your demure face!--come, confess Jack--you have been lying, ha'n't you? You have been playing the hypocrite, hey!--I'll never forgive you, if you ha'n't been lying and playing the hypocrite. ABSOLUTE I'm sorry, sir, that the respect and duty which I bear to you should be so mistaken. Sir ANTHONY Hang your respect and duty! But come along with me, I'll write a note to Mrs. Malaprop, and you shall visit the lady directly. Her eyes shall be the Promethean torch to you--come along, I'll never forgive you, if you don't come back stark mad with rapture and impatience--if you don't, egad, I will marry the girl myself! [Exeunt.] * * * * * * * Scene II--JULIA's Dressing-room. [FAULKLAND discovered alone.] FAULKLAND They told me Julia would return directly; I wonder she is not yet come! How mean does this captious, unsatisfied temper of mine appear to my cooler judgment! Yet I know not that I indulge it in any other point: but on this one subject, and to this one subject, whom I think I love beyond my life, I am ever ungenerously fretful and madly capricious! I am conscious of it--yet I cannot correct myself! What tender honest joy sparkled in her eyes when we met! how delicate was the warmth of her expression! I was ashamed to appear less happy--though I had come resolved to wear a face of coolness and upbraiding. Sir Anthony's presence prevented my proposed expostulations: yet I must be satisfied that she has not been so very happy in my absence. She is coming! Yes!--I know the nimbleness of her tread, when she thinks her impatient Faulkland counts the moments of her stay. [Enter JULIA.] JULIA I had not hoped to see you again so soon. FAULKLAND Could I, Julia, be contented with my first welcome--restrained as we were by the presence of a third person? JULIA O Faulkland, when your kindness can make me thus happy, let me not think that I discovered something of coldness in your first salutation. FAULKLAND 'Twas but your fancy, Julia. I was rejoiced to see you--to see you in such health. Sure I had no cause for coldness? JULIA Nay, then, I see you have taken something ill. You must not conceal from me what it is.