The Romance of the Canoness: A Life-HistoryHeyse, Paul
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The Romance of the Canoness: A Life-History
Heyse, Paul
German fiction -- Translations into English
I must preface the following record with the entreaty that it may not
be regarded as puerile vanity if I begin with my insignificant self and
allow my own personality to appear in the course of my story more
frequently than it may deserve. The nature of the case requires it. My
own valueless destiny is as inseparably connected with the life of the
principal personage as the insignificant thread is a part of the pearl
necklace whose costly gems are strung upon it. Unfortunately, there are
some parts where the jewels are missing, and then only the gray thread
appears. But I will try to make these spaces as short as possible; for
I am only too well aware that my own existence has merely gained what
little worth it possesses because Providence brought me into the
vicinity of so rare a creature, and permitted me to move around her and
receive light and warmth, as a planet from the sun.
True, I certainly did not begin life with so modest an estimate of
myself. Nay, I imagined that I was well fitted to let my light shine as
the center of a little planetary system of my own. At a very early age
I was praised in my family and notorious among my school-fellows as a
pattern boy, and the blows I received from the latter--and had richly
deserved by my ridiculous boasting--only helped to increase my
arrogance. All exalted minds, I said to myself, have been obliged to
atone for their superiority by calamity and persecution. Nay, I even
went so far as to compare myself with the Son of man, and should not
have been surprised had some Herod yearned for the life of the child
who felt himself destined to redeem the poor, sinful world, and
meanwhile showed his teachers in the town-school contemptible cajolery
and faultlessly written exercises.
When I was fourteen my father, who was a true Christian and a faithful
servant of the Word, was transferred from the town parish to be
superintendent in Berlin. My mother had died young, and my father, who
was completely absorbed in his official duties, left me--with too much
confidence--to myself. An elderly, somewhat weak-minded aunt, who even
in the great city kept house for us, regarded me as a small miracle,
and, therefore, had neither judgment nor power to uproot the weeds of
spiritual arrogance from my heart. The latter had already flourished so
rankly that they continued to grow luxuriantly even in the freer air of
the capital. When, at eighteen, I entered the university, I instantly
formed a pietistical society, which behaved almost like a students'
consistory. We preached to each other to our hearts' content, debated
the most difficult theological points of controversy, wrote hymns,
which I set to music and accompanied on our harmonium; in short, we
were a set of insufferable young saints, not a single one of whom,
had he knocked at the door of heaven with his long locks and meekly
turned-down collar, would Saint Peter have admitted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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