The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Eh? [_Correcting himself _] He writes me--[_Referring to the letter._]
"Now, old chap, do let me give you the details of our new self-loading
eighty-ton gun." Well, Carrie, what the deuce am I to do? It seems a
nice gun. [_She shrugs her shoulders._] Carrie, what is your Vere to
do? [_She makes no answer, he approaches her and touches her on the
shoulder.'_]Carrie. Carrie, look at your Vere. Vere speaks to you. [_He
sits on her lap, she looks up affectionately._] Carrie, darling, you
know old Jack is such a devil--
MISS DYOTT.
Eh?
QUECKETT.
A nice devil, you know--an exceedingly nice devil. Now I can't show up
at the Club after sending in my resignation--they'd quiz me awfully. But
I must entertain poor old Jack. [_Coaxingly._] Eh? Resignation sent in
through misunderstanding, eh? [_Pinching her cheek._] Ten little ginny.
winnies, eh?
MISS DYOTT.
Not a ginny-winriy! For a Club, not half a ginny-winny!
QUECKETT.
Caroline, you forget what is due to me.
MISS DYOTT.
I wish I could forget what is due to everybody. Don't be cross, Vere.
I'll fetch your hat and coat, and Vere shall go out for his little
morning stroll. And if he promises not to be angry with his Caroline,
there are five shillings to spend. [_She gives him some silver; he looks
up beamingly again._]
QUECKETT.
My darling!
MISS DYOTT.
[_Taking his face between her hands and kissing him._] Um--you spoilt
boy! [_She runs out._]
QUECKETT.
Now what am I to do about Jack? I can't ask him here. Carrie would never
allow it, and if she would I couldn't stand the chaff about marrying a
Boarding School. No, I can't ask Jack here. _Why_ can't I ask Jack here?
Everybody in bed at nine o'clock--square the boy Tyler to wait. Bachelor
lodgings, near Portland Place. Extremely good address. Jack _shall_
give me the details of that eighty-ton gun. Yes--and we'll load it, too.
While I'm out I'll send this wire to Jack.
QUECKETT.
[_Taking a telegraph form from the stationery-cabinet, and writing._]
"Come up to-night, dear old boy. Nine-thirty, sharp. Diggings of humble
bachelor. 80, Duke Street, Portland Place. Bring two or three good
fellows. Vere." How much does that come to? [_Counting the words
rapidly._] One--two--three--four--five--no. [_Getting confused._]
One--two--three--four--five--six--no. One--two--three--four--five--six.
[_Counting to the end._] I think it is one and something half-penny--but
it's all luck under the new regulations. Oh, and I haven't addressed
it! Where's Jack's letter? [_He takes the letter from his pocket. Peggy
enters quietly. Seeing Queckett, she draws back, watching him._]
PEGGY.
[_To herself_] What is he doing now--the Guy Fawkes?
QUECKETT.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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