The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Miss Rankling presents her compliments to Miss Dyott, and her love to
her papa and mamma, and, as her mind is quite made up, she would rather
not cause distress by granting an interview. [_Rankling sinks into a
chair._]
MRS. RANKLING.
Archibald!
MISS DYOTT.
[To Peggy.] The port wine! [_Peggy advances with the cake and wine._]
MRS. RANKLING.
[_Kneeling to Rankling._] Archibald, be yourself! Remember, you have to
respond for the Navy at a banquet to-night. Think of your reputation as
a Genial After-dinner Speaker!
RANKLING.
[_Rising with forced calmness._] Thank you, Emma. [_To Miss Dyott._]
Madam, my daughter is in your charge till you receive instructions from
my solicitor. [_Glaring at Peggy._] A short written apology shall be
sent to this young lady in the course of the afternoon. [_To his wife!_]
Emma, your hair's rough--come home. [_He gives Mrs. Rankling his arm.
They go out. Miss Dyott sinks exhausted on sofa. Peggy offers her a
glass of wine._]
MISS DYOTT.
Oh, my goodness! [_Declining the wine._] No, no--not that. It has
been decanted since Midsummer. [_Queckett, his coat collar turned tip,
appears at the door looking back over his shoulder._]
QUECKETT.
What's the matter with the Ranklings? [_Seeing Miss Dyott and Peggy._]
Oh! has that vexing girl told Caroline? [_The clock strikes two._]
MISS DYOTT.
[_To herself!_] Two o'clock--I must remove to Henrietta Street. [_Seeing
Queckett._] My darling.
QUECKETT.
My love. [_To himself_] All right.
MISS DYOTT.
I am going to prepare for my journey--the train leaves Paddington
at three. [_As Miss Dyott goes towards the centre door, Jane enters
carrying about twenty boxes of cigars, which she deposits on the floor
and then goes out._] What is this?
QUECKETT.
H'm! my cigars, Carrie--brought 'em with me in a cab.
MISS DYOTT.
Oh! [_Reading the label of one of the boxes._] "Por Carolina." Ah, poor
Caroline. [_She goes out. Directly she is gone, Peggy and Queckett, by a
simultaneous movement, rush to the two doors and close them._]
QUECKETT.
Now, Miss Hesslerigge!
PEGGY.
Sir.
QUECKETT.
We will come to a distinct understanding.
PEGGY.
If you please.
QUECKETT.
In the first place, you will return me my telegram.
PEGGY.
I can't.
QUECKETT.
You mean you won't.
PEGGY.
No, I can't.
QUECKETT.
Why not?
PEGGY.
I have just sent it to the telegraph office, by Tyler.
QUECKETT.
Despatched it!
PEGGY.
Despatched it--it was one and fourpence.
QUECKETT.
Oh, you--you--you vexing girl! Mr. Mallory will be here to-night.
PEGGY.
Yes--and will "Bring two or three good fellows." At least we hope so.
QUECKETT.
Hope so!
PEGGY.
[_Standing over him with her arms folded._] Listen, Mr. Vere Queckett.
[_He starts._] We ladies are going to give a little party to-night to
celebrate a serious event in the life of one of us. We have invited only
one young gentleman; your friends will be welcome.
QUECKETT.
Oh!
PEGGY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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