The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Yes, Archibald. [_Crossing the room in a flutter, and sitting beside
Rankling, who makes insufficient room for her._]
MRS. RANKLING.
Thank you, Archibald. I have been sitting up with the Admiral all night,
and it is owing to my entreaties that he has consented to give Dinah one
last chance of reconciliation.
RANKLING.
[_Who has been eyeing her._] Emma!
MRS. RANKLING.
Yes, Archibald.
RANKLING.
Your bonnet's on one side again.
MRS. RANKLING.
[_Adjusting it._] Thank you, Archibald. We leave town for the holidays
to-morrow; it rests with Dinah whether she spends Christmas in her
papa's society or not.
RANKLING.
Don't twitch your fingers, Emma--don't twitch your fingers.
MRS. RANKLING.
[_Nervously._] It's a habit, Archibald.
RANKLING.
It's a very bad one.
MRS. RANKLING.
All we require is that Dinah should personally assure us that she has
banished every thought of the foolish young gentleman she met at Mrs.
St. Dunstan's.
MISS DYOTT.
[_Rising and ringing the bell._] If I am any student of the passing
fancies of a young girl's mind--
RANKLING.
Speak louder, ma'am--your voice doesn't travel.
MISS DYOTT.
[_Nervously--with a gulp._] If I am any student of the
passing--fancies--[_Rankling puts his hand to his ear._] Oh, don't make
me so nervous. [_Jane enters looking untidy, her sleeves turned up, and
wiping her hands on her apron._]
MISS DYOTT.
[_Shocked._] Where is the man-servant?
JANE.
On a herring, ma'am.
MISS DYOTT.
Ask Miss Dinah Rankling to be good enough to step downstairs. [_Jane
goes out. Rankling rises, with Mrs. Rankling clinging to his arm._]
MRS. RANKLING.
You will be calm, Archibald--you will be moderate in tone. [_With a
little nervous cough._] Oh, dear! poor Dinah!
RANKLING.
Stop that fidgety cough, Emma. [_Stalking about the room, his wife
following him._]
MRS. RANKLING.
Even love-matches are sometimes very happy. Our was a love-match,
Archibald.
RANKLING.
Be quiet--we're exceptions. [_Pacing up to the door just as it opens,
and Peggy presents herself. Directly Rankling sees Peggy, he catches her
by the shoulders, and gives her a good shaking._]
MISS DYOTT.
Admiral!
MRS. RANKLING.
Archibald!
PEGGY.
[Being shaken.] Oh--oh--oh--oh!
RANKLING.
[Panting, and releasing Peggy.] You good-for-nothing girl! Do you know
you have upset your mother?
MRS. RANKLING.
Archibald, that isn't Dinah!
MISS DYOTT.
That is another young lady.
RANKLING.
[_Aghast._] What--not----Who--who has led me into this unpardonable
error of judgment?
MRS. RANKLING.
[_To Peggy, who is rubbing her shoulders and looking vindictively at
Rankling._] Oh, my dear young lady, pray think of this only as an amusing
mistake. The Admiral has been away for more than four years--Dinah was
but a child when he last saw her. [_Weeping._] Oh, dear me!
RANKLING.
Be quiet, Emma--you'll make a scene. [_To Peggy._] Where is Miss
Rankling?
PEGGY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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