The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
I've made a mistake about the doors and--I have unlocked Mr. Queckett!
[_She goes out quickly, Mallory thinks for a moment, then bursts into a
fit of silent laughter._]
MALLORY.
I love that girl! [_Reginald appears at the further door,
gesticulating._]
REGINALD.
[_In a hoarse whisper. _] Where is my wife? I cannot live longer without
her! Where is Dinah?
MALLORY.
Hush! She'll be here in a minute. Come out of there and lend me a hand.
[_Saunders, Gwendoline, and Ermyntrude enter on tiptoe. To Reginald._]
Now then--gently. [_Mallory and Reginald each take an end of the sofa
and carry Rankling out through the door into the dark room._]
GWENDOLINE.
[_Breathlessly._] If they bump him, all's lost! [_Mallory and Reginald
re-appear._]
REGINALD.
I feel warmer now.
MALLORY.
Turn the key. Reginald turns the key as Dinah and Peggy enter
cautiously.
GWENDOLINE AND ERMYNTRUDE.
Dinah!
DINAH.
Reggie!
REGINALD.
My wife! [_Reginald rushes down to Dinah and embraces her frantically.
There is a general cry of relief as Mallory embraces Peggy, and
Gwendoline throws her arms round Saunders. Suddenly there is the
sound of some one stumbling downstairs, accompanied by a smothered
exclamation._]
ALL.
[_Listening._] What's that?
ERMYNTRUDE.
[_Peeping out at the door._] Here's Uncle Vere got loose. He has fallen
downstairs.
REGINALD.
Oh, bother! Come along, Dinah. [_Reginald and Dinah, Saunders,
Ermyntrude, and Gwendoline go out quickly._]
PEGGY.
[_To Mallory._] Rather bad taste of your nephew and those girls to run
after a newly-married couple, isn't it?
MALLORY.
Yes; we won't do it.
PEGGY.
No; but we don't want to be bothered with your old friend, Queckett, do
we?
MALLORY.
No--he's an awful bore.
PEGGY.
Is the conservatory heated? [_Taking his arm._] I don't mind if it
isn't. [_They disappear into the conservatory. The door opens and
Queckett, his face pale and haggard, enters, still wearing his hat and
the short covert coat over his evening dress, and carrying his gloves
and umbrella._]
QUECKETT.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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