The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
No--no--I take the responsibility of this. I am a girl! [_ Going towards
the door, and looking at Mallory and Saunders as they make way for her.
_] I hope you will repent your line of conduct, gentlemen. [_She goes
out._]
MALLORY.
I think we all shall. [_There is a sudden noise, as of some one falling
down a couple of stairs. They start and listen._]
GIRLS.
Oh!
MALLORY.
What's that?
ERMYNTRUDE.
[_Looking out at door.'_] Here's Admiral Rankling! [_There is a
suppressed exclamation with a silent scamper to the further end of the
room._]
MALLORY.
[_Indignantly._] What the deuce does a respectable man want out of bed
at this unearthly hour?
RANKLING.
[_In a rage, outside the door._] Confound that!
GIRLS.
Oh!
REGINALD.
[_Opening the door leading to the dark room._] Here's a room here. Shall
we condescend to hide?
ALL.
Yes. [_They disappear hastily as Rankling appears in a dressing-gown,
his face pale and his eyes red and wild._]
RANKLING.
Hallo! Some one has been sitting up--candles--and a fire. Ah! [_Sniffing
and walking about the room, he goes straight to the mantelpiece upon
which Reginald's grog has been left and takes up the tumbler._] It's
Mallory. [_ With suppressed passion._] It's against the rules for
anybody to sit up in my house!
[_Calmly._] But I don't mind Mallory--I don't--[_Looking at sofa._]
Hallo--Mallory has been turning in here. [_Going to the sofa and
sitting there shaking with anger._] Are we never going to have any
more daylight? How long am I to wait till that miserable schoolmistress
releases the worm Queckett! Queckett! Uncle Vere! The reptile who has
made a fool of me in the eyes of my wife and daughter! Ugh! But I must
husband my strength for Queckett. I have been a very careful man all my
life; as far as muscular economy goes, Queckett shall have the savings
of a lifetime. [_Lying down and pulling the rug over him._] Uncle Vere!
Ah--I was a wild, impetuous, daring lad once--[_going to sleep_] and
I can be unpleasant even now. I can! The Admiralty doesn't know it--Emma
doesn't know it--Queckett shall know it. [_He breathes heavily. The
others have been peeping from their hiding place, and as they close
the door, Peggy enters alone, quickly but silently. She looks for
the others, then almost falls over Rankling on the sofa, at which she
retreats with a suppressed screech of horror. Mallory opens the further
door and gesticulates to her violently to be silent._]
PEGGY.
[_Petrified._] Oh, my goodness gracious! [_Mallory comes and bends over
Rankling, listening to his breathing; he then goes to Peggy._]
MALLORY.
He's dropped off. Where is Mrs. Paulover?
PEGGY.
She's not on that side of the house.
MALLORY.
I've a plan for disposing of the old gentleman. Try the other side.
PEGGY.
I'm going to. [_Turning and clutching Mallory._] But, oh, Mr. Mallory,
what do you think I've done?
MALLORY.
That's impossible to conjecture.
PEGGY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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