The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Ha! Ha! This is my revenge, Vere Queckett! To-night I will dance more
wildly, more demonstratively than ever!
QUECKETT.
I forbid it!
MISS DYOTT.
_You_ forbid it! _You_ dictate to Constance Delaporte--the hit of the
opera! I am Queen Honorine! [_She slaps her hands and sings with great
abandonment, and in the pronounced manner of the buffo queen, the song
she is supposed to sing in Bernstein's opera. Singing._]=
````'Rine, 'Rine, Honorine!
````Mighty, whether wife or queen;
````Firmer ruler never seen,
```Than 'Rine, 'Rine! La!=
QUECKETT.
[_Indignantly._] I will write to my married sisters!
MISS DYOTT.
Do--and I will call upon them! [_Singing._] =
````Man's a boasting, fretting fumer,
````Smoking alcohol consumer,
````Quick of temper, ill of humour!=
QUECKETT.
Oh, you shall sing this to my family!
MISS DYOTT.
I will! [_Singing with her hands upon her hips._]=
````Woman has no petty vices,
````Cuts her sins in good thick slices,
````With a smile that sweet and nice is!=
QUECKETT.
[_ Writhing._] Oh!
MISS DYOTT.
[_Boisterously._] Refrain! [_Singing and dancing._]=
````'Rine, 'Rine, Honorine!
````Mighty, whether wife or queen,
````Firmer ruler never seen,
````Than 'Rine, 'Rine! La!=
[_ With a burst of hysterical laughter she sinks into a chair. _]
QUECKETT.
Oh, I will tell my brother of you! [_Daylight appears through the
conservatory doors. Mrs. Rankling and Dinah enter. Mallory and Peggy
enter from conservatory "spooning."_]
MRS. RANKLING.
My dear Mrs Queckett, I owe everything to you,--my treatment of the dear
Admiral has had wonderful results. What do you think! The Admiral and
Mr. Paulover are quite reconciled and understand each other perfectly.
[_Rankling and Paulover enter, glaring at each other and quarrelling
violently in undertones._] Look--the Admiral already regards him as his
own child. [_Saunders, Ermyntrude, and Gwendoline enter and join Peggy
and Mallory._]
DINAH.
[_Sobbing._] But we are to be separated for five years. Oh, Reggie, you
trust me implicitly, don't you?
REGINALD.
[_Fiercely._] I do. And that is why I warn you never to let me hear of
you addressing another man.
DINAH.
Oh, Reggie! [_They embrace._]
RANKLING.
Don't do that! You don't see me behaving in that way to Mrs.
Rankling--and we've been married for years.
MRS. RANKLING.
[_To Dinah._] But you and Mr. Paulover are to be allowed to meet once
every quarter.
REGINALD.
Yes--in the presence of Admiral Rankling and a policeman! [_Mrs.
Rankling, Rankling, Dinah and Reginald join the others.--Otto Bernstein
enters quickly and excitedly, carrying a quantity of newspapers. _]
BERNSTEIN.
I beg your pardon. I must see Miss Constance Delaporte--I mean, Miss
Dyott.
MISS DYOTT.
Mr. Bernstein.
BERNSTEIN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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