The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
[_Reading the address._] It's re-addressed from the Junior Amalgamated
Club, St. James's Street. [_Snatching the letter from Tyler._] Gracious!
"The Honourable Vere Queckett!"
GWENDOLINE.
The Honourable!
ERMYNTRUDE.
The Honourable!
TYLER.
What's that mean?
PEGGY.
Young ladies, we have been entertaining a swell--unawares! [_Returning
letter to Tyler._] Take it up.
TYLER.
Swell or no swell, the person who siles two pairs of boots _per diem_
daily is no friend o' mine. [_Tyler goes out._]
PEGGY.
[_Opening her letter._] Oh! From Dinah's Reginald! No, no!
DINAH.
Addressed to me. [_Referring to the signature._]
PEGGY.
"Reginald Percy Paulover!"
DINAH.
Read it, read it! [_Peggy sits on the sofa, the three girls clustering
round her; Dinah kneeling at her feet expectantly._]
PEGGY.
[_Reading._] "Montpelier Square, West Brompton. Dear Miss Hesslerigge,
Heaven will reward you. The letter wrapped round a stone which you threw
me last night from an upper window of Volumnia House was handed to me
after I had compensated the person upon whose head it unfortunately
alighted. The news that Dinah has one friend in Volumnia House enabled
me to get a little rest between half-past five and six this morning."
GWENDOLINE.
_One_ friend!
ERMYNTRUDE.
_What about us?_ [_Dinah kisses them._]
DINAH.
Go on!
PEGGY.
[_Reading._] "Not having closed my eyes for eleven nights, sleep was
of distinct value. Now, dear Miss Hesslerigge, inform Dinah that our
apartments are quite ready"--
GWENDOLINE AND ERMYNTRUDE.
Oh!
PEGGY.
"And that I shall present myself at Volumnia College, to fetch away the
dear love of my heart, to-night at half-past nine." To-night!
GWENDOLINE AND ERMYNTRUDE.
To-night!
DINAH.
Oh, I've come over so frightened!
PEGGY.
To-night!
[_Waving the letter and dancing round with delight._]
GWENDOLINE.
Finish the letter.
PEGGY.
[_Resuming her seat, and reading with emotion._] "Please assure Dinah
that I shall love her till death, and that the piano is now moving in.
Dinah is my one thought. The former is on the three years' system.
Kiss my angel for me. Our carpet is Axminster, and, I regret to say,
second-hand. But, oh! our life will be a blessed, blessed dream--the
worn part going well under the centre table. This evening at half-past
nine. Gratefully yours, Reginald Percy Paulover. P.S.--I shall be
closely muffled up, as the corner lamp-post under which I stand is
visible from the window of Admiral Rank-ling's dining-room. You will
know me by my faithful, trusty respirator." Oh! I'm so excited! I wish
somebody was coming for me!
ERMYNTRUDE.
I know--we shall be frustrated by Jane!
GWENDOLINE.
Or Tyler! Leave them to me
PEGGY.
--I'll manage 'em!
DINAH.
But there's Miss Dyott's husband!
PEGGY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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