The Æsculapian Labyrinth Explored; Or, Medical Mystery IllustratedTaplin, William
Science
The Æsculapian Labyrinth Explored; Or, Medical Mystery Illustrated
Taplin, William
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Medicine -- Humor; Pharmacists -- Early works to 1800; Physicians -- Early works to 1800
No part of the faculty having ever been remarkable for the regularity
or fervency of their _devotions_, your presence at church will
consequently not be expected (particularly after the impressions you
have made of being perpetually engaged) unless you politically appear
there at two or three different times, merely for the convenience
of being called out _by your own direction_, at the still and most
awful part of the service; a circumstance that will tell much to your
advantage with every superannuated _old woman_ in the parish. Take
particular care that your horse is constantly brought to your door on
the sabbath day, just as the neighbours are passing to church, and
there paraded some time previous to your appearance, which to every
weak mind will have its effects; and be equally careful to measure the
steps of your _horse_, by the hands of your _watch_, so that whether
your journey is accidentally long, or intentionally short, you return
just at the moment of their dismission from the religious conventicle.
In passing the whole body of inhabitants, be strictly careful of your
self consequence—a bow of _significant respect_ to two or three of
the _superiors_, may be applicable and consistent—but no familiarity
with, or knowledge of, the multitude; the greater your _ostentation_
and _indifference_, the more _servile_ will be their _admiration_ and
_respect_.
By no means form any hasty or inconsiderate matrimonial connection;
you will derive many advantages at first from a life of _celibacy_;
there are always a variety of juvenile females in the country (as well
as the metropolis) who considering themselves _every way qualified_
to constitute _doctor’s ladies_, will most industriously _throw_
themselves in your way upon every occasion, that their personal
attractions may not escape your observation. To families where there
are daughters, nieces, or cousins, who _conceive_ themselves ripe for
the _gordian knot_, you may assure yourself of being called in a short
time; for as you are such “a charming man” in your appearance, (and so
admirably _fitting_ for a husband) there can’t be the least reason to
doubt your professional qualifications.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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