After the awkward ceremony of your first appearance is over, and matters a little adjusted, take great care to be upon your guard; indulge in a variety of _significant gestures_, and _emphatical hems!_—and _hahs!_ proving you possessed of _singularities_, that may tend to excite ideas in the patient and surrounding friends, that _a physician_ is a superior part of the creation.——Let _every action_, _every word_, _every look_, be strongly marked, denoting doubt and ambiguity; proceed to the necessary enquiries of “what has been done in rule and regimen, previous to your being called in?” hear the recital with patience, and give your _nod of assent_, lest you make Mr. Emetic, the apothecary, your formidable enemy, who will then _most conscientiously_ omit to recommend the assistance of such _extraordinary abilities_ on any future occasion.—Take care to _look wisdom_ in every feature; speak but little, and let it be impossible _that little_ should be understood; let every hint, every _shrug_ be carefully calculated to give the hearers a wonderful opinion of your learning and experience.—In your _half-heard_ and mysterious conversation with your _medical inferior_, do not forget to drop a few observations upon—“the animal œconomy”—“circulation of the blood”—“acrimony”—“the non naturals”—“stricture upon the parts”—“acute pain”—“inflammatory heat”—“nervous irritability,” and all those _technical traps_ that fascinate the hearers, and render the patient yours ad libitum. To the friends or relatives of the diseased, (as the case may be) you seriously apprehend _great danger_; but such apprehension is not without its portion of _hope_; and you doubt not, but a rigid perseverance in the plan you shall prescribe, will reconcile all difficulties in a few days, and restore the patient (whose recovery you have exceedingly at heart) to his health and friends; that you will embrace the earliest opportunity to see him again, most probably at such an hour, (naming it) in the mean time you are in a great degree happy to leave him in such good hands as _Mr. Emetic_, to whom you shall give every necessary direction, and upon whose _integrity_ and _punctuality_ you can implicitly rely.