You then require a private apartment for your necessary consultation and plan of _joint depredation_ upon the pecuniary property of your unfortunate invalid, which you are now going _seriously_ to attack with the full force of _physic_ and _finesse_. You first learn from your informant what has been hitherto done without effect, and determine accordingly how to proceed; but in this, great respect must be paid to the temper, as well as the constitution and circumstances, of your intended _prey_; if he be of a petulant and refractory disposition, submitting to medical dictation upon absolute compulsion, as a professed enemy to physic and the faculty, let your harvest be _short_, and complete as possible. On the contrary, should a _hypochondriac_ be your subject, with the long train of melancholic doubts, fears, hopes, and despondencies, avail yourself of the faith implicitly placed in you, and regulate your proceedings by the force of _his imagination_; let your prescription (by its length and variety) reward your _jackall_ for his present attention and future services.—Take care to furnish the frame so amply with _physic_, that _food_ may be unnecessary; let every hour (or two) have its destined appropriation—render all possible forms of the _materia medica_ subservient to the general good—_draughts_—_powders_—_drops_, and _pills_, may be given (at least) every two hours; intervening _apozems_, or _decoctions_, may have their utility; if no other advantage is to be expected, one good will be clearly ascertained, the convenience of having the _nurse_ kept constantly awake, and if _one medicine_ is not productive of success, _another may_. These are surely alternatives well worthy your attention, being admirably calculated for the promotion of your _patient’s cure_ and your _own reputation_. Having written your long prescription, and learnt from Mr. Emetic every necessary information, you return to the room of your patient, to prove your attention, and renew your admonitions of punctuality and submission;—then receiving your _fee_ with a consequential _air of indifference_, you take your leave; not omitting to drop an additional assurance, that “you shall not be _remiss_ in your attendance.” These, Sir, are the instructions you must steadily pursue, if you possess an ardent desire to become _eminent_ in your _profession_—_opulent_ in your _circumstances_—_formidable_ to your _competitors_, or a _valuable practitioner_ to the _Company_ of _Apothecaries_, from whom you are to expect the foundation of support. A multiplicity of additional hints might be added for your minute observance; but such a variety will present themselves in the course of practice, that a retrospective view of diurnal occurrences will sufficiently furnish you with every possible information for your future progress; regulating your behaviour, by the rank of your patients, from the _most_ pompous _personal ostentation_, to the meanest and _most contemptible servility_.