conditions, after all, what it can have been, but it makes you, doesn't
it? the single case of your kind. If you had been spoiled there would
have been no use--and of course as it is there's none. Only I can't help
having just put it to you thus," she wound up, "that you've not been
spoiled."
There was no doubt of the nature of the effort made by Pendrel to do
these remarks justice. "You do put it to me with the magnificence that
attends every breath of your being. I haven't been spoiled--I see quite
what you mean--I only _can_ be."
"You only _will_ be," she said almost tenderly. "You'll be beautifully
spoiled."
"For _you_, that is, of course," Ralph went on.
"For me--certainly. Isn't it only of myself after all that we're
talking?"
He answered nothing and the silence between them was for a little as if
she had suddenly given him a chance. This effect moreover grew from what
he finally said; which was after he had restlessly moved to the window,
looked out thence for some instants and then come back. "You would
definitely accept me if I did formally give up everything but
this?"--and he jerked his head at the outer world of which he had with
such intensity just renewed his impression.
"Ah," she disappointingly answered, "I don't absolutely say that."
Poor Pendrel again stared. "Then what do you say at all? Do you expect
me to renounce for nothing?"
"I don't expect you, as I've perfectly told you, in any degree to
renounce. Why should you?" she added. "No one will ever have an idea of
what you have lost."
"No one but myself," he said with his eyes on her.
"Oh I think you will least of all."
She had answered so straight that it had almost the sound of levity; by
the hint of which he was justly enough irritated. "It's too
portentous--what you ask!"
But she found for this her quickest reply. "I don't ask anything. It's
you who ask. I only answer. I decline the honour of your hand, and I
give my reasons. If I had given none I should have been doubtless less
absurd, and my reward is that I'm not really sure I should have been
even less cruel. I'm sure," she continued, "but of one thing--or rather
perhaps of two: that I'm as insane as you please, but that I'm also as
rigid. Don't think, at all events, that you need, or that you possibly
_can_, tell me how my attitude strikes you. Do me the simple justice to
believe that I know."
So she appeared quietly to conclude, and it was in her quietness indeed
that her perversity most showed; though this was in a manner an aid, if
a lame one, to her suitor, called upon at a moment's notice both to
measure its extent and to give up the hope of getting round it. "You
call me a 'case,' but it seems to me you're at least as extraordinary a
one."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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