He had some kidney trouble, and whenever he grew strongly agitated, his
face, his hands and his feet became swollen. Now, rising like a
mountain of bloated flesh above the taut springs of the bed, he felt,
with the anguish of a sick man, his swollen face, which seemed to him
to belong to some one else. Unceasingly he kept thinking of the cruel
fate which people were preparing for him. He recalled, one after
another, all the recent horrible instances of bombs that had been
thrown at men of even greater eminence than himself; he recalled how
the bombs had torn bodies to pieces, had spattered brains over dirty
brick walls, had knocked teeth from their roots. And influenced by
these meditations, it seemed to him that his own stout, sickly body,
outspread on the bed, was already experiencing the fiery shock of the
explosion. He seemed to be able to feel his arms being severed from the
shoulders, his teeth knocked out, his brains scattered into particles,
his feet growing numb, lying quietly, their toes upward, like those of
a dead man. He stirred with an effort, breathed loudly and coughed in
order not to seem to himself to resemble a corpse in any way. He
encouraged himself with the live noise of the grating springs, of the
rustling blanket; and to assure himself that he was actually alive and
not dead, he uttered in a bass voice, loudly and abruptly, in the
silence and solitude of the bedroom:
“_Molodtsi! Molodtsi! Molodtsi!_ (Good boys)!”
He was praising the detectives, the police, and the soldiers—all those
who guarded his life, and who so opportunely and so cleverly had
averted the assassination. But even though he stirred, even though he
praised his protectors, even though he forced an unnatural smile, in
order to express his contempt for the foolish, unsuccessful terrorists,
he nevertheless did not believe in his safety, he was not sure that his
life would not leave him suddenly, at once. Death, which people had
devised for him, and which was only in their minds, in their intention,
seemed to him to be already standing there in the room. It seemed to
him that Death would remain standing there, and would not go away until
those people had been captured, until the bombs had been taken from
them, until they had been placed in a strong prison. There Death was
standing in the corner, and would not go away—it could not go away,
even as an obedient sentinel stationed on guard by a superior’s will
and order.
“At one o’clock in the afternoon, your Excellency!” this phrase kept
ringing, changing its tone continually: now it was cheerfully mocking,
now angry, now dull and obstinate. It sounded as if a hundred wound-up
gramophones had been placed in his room, and all of them, one after
another, were shouting with idiotic repetition the words they had been
made to shout:
“At one o’clock in the afternoon, your Excellency!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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