In his night-clothes, with his beard disheveled by his restless
movements, with his angry eyes, the dignitary resembled any other angry
old man who suffered with insomnia and shortness of breath. It was as
if the death which people were preparing for him, had made him bare,
had torn away from him the magnificence and splendor which had
surrounded him—and it was hard to believe that it was he who had so
much power, that his body was but an ordinary plain human body that
must have perished terribly in the flame and roar of a monstrous
explosion. Without dressing himself and not feeling the cold, he sat
down in the first armchair he found, stroking his disheveled beard, and
fixed his eyes in deep, calm thoughtfulness upon the unfamiliar plaster
figures of the ceiling.
So that was the trouble! That was why he had trembled in fear and had
become so agitated! That was why Death seemed to stand in the corner
and would not go away, could not go away!
“Fools!” he said emphatically, with contempt.
“Fools!” he repeated more loudly, and turned his head slightly toward
the door that those to whom he was referring might hear it. He was
referring to those whom he had praised but a moment before, who in the
excess of their zeal had told him of the plot against his life.
“Of course,” he thought deeply, an easy, convincing idea arising in his
mind. “Now that they have told me, I know, and feel terrified, but if I
had not been told, I would not have known anything and would have drunk
my coffee calmly. After that Death would have come—but then, am I so
afraid of Death? Here have I been suffering with kidney trouble, and I
must surely die from it some day, and yet I am not afraid—because I do
not know anything. And those fools told me: ‘At one o’clock in the
afternoon, your Excellency!’ and they thought I would be glad. But
instead of that Death stationed itself in the corner and would not go
away. It would not go away because it was my thought. It is not death
that is terrible, but the knowledge of it: it would be utterly
impossible to live if a man could know exactly and definitely the day
and hour of his death. And the fools cautioned me: ‘At one o’clock in
the afternoon, your Excellency!’”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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