What to that thin lankey piece of furniture: it could not be from the lust of the flesh, for she has not an ounce upon her. * * * * * At a dinner where great satisfaction was expressed, it was facetiously proposed that the president should proceed to the kitchen, and kiss the cook. That, observed ⸺, would be a salute at Spithead. * * * * * When a certain popular nobleman was appointed to the green ribband, he met his facetious friend, who warmly congratulated him on his new dignity, and green ribband. Yes, said the nobleman, but you will find me the same man still. Why, then returned the wit, you shall be the Green Man and Still. A pert young lady was walking one morning on the Steyne, at Brighton, when she encountered our facetious friend. You see, Mr. ⸺, I am come out for a little sun and air. You had better, Madam, get a little husband first. The above are a few of the facetious apopthegms, which seemed, in the opinion of the Sexagenarian to merit preservation. There are others in the Manuscript, but they are either more familiar, or less interesting. Contrasted to the above, are two extraordinary instances of ignorance, which appear to have been written down as marvellous examples of a total want of comprehension and intelligence. A woman of decent appearance came into a stationer’s shop, where the Sexagenarian was present, and desired to purchase a pen, for which she paid a penny. On receiving it, she returned it with the observation, that it was good for nothing. Another was given her, but she gave this also back again, with the same remark. On being asked what fault she had to find with them—“Why how,” she returned, “could they possibly be good for any thing, when both had a slit at the end.” The other instance is no less curious, and also happened in the presence of our friend. A female came into a bookseller’s shop with a slip of paper in her hand, upon which was written a verse from Scripture, with the proper reference to the place from whence it was taken. “I want,” said she, “_the sermon_ on that text, and two of my neighbours will each be glad of one also.” The bookseller surprised, enquired whose sermon it was. “Our curate’s,” she replied, “and he preached it last Sunday.” On being asked whether she knew if it had been printed, she was a little displeased, and pettishly observed, “how could it be preached if it had not been printed.” No explanation or remonstrance availed to satisfy, and she left the shop, convinced that the bookseller could, if he had thought proper, have accommodated her with what she wanted. Temeritas est videlicet florentis ætatis, prudentia senescentis. Adolescentia sola est invalida viribus, infirma consiliis, vitio calens, fastidiosa monitoribus, illecebrosa deliciis. CHAPTER III.