The neighborhood round Queen's Chase was not a very populous one. Among
the friends whom the Vaughans visited, and who visited them in return,
there was not one young person, not one child. It never seemed to enter
their minds that Hyacinth, being a child, longed for the society of
children. At certain times she was gravely told to play. She had a doll
and a Noah's ark; and with these she amused herself alone for long
hours. As for the graces, the fancies, the wants, the requirements of
childhood, its thousand wordless dreams and wordless wants, no one
seemed to understand them at all. They treated the child as if she were
a little old woman, crushing back with remorseless hand all the quick
fancies and bright dreams natural to youth.
Some children would have grown up wicked, hardened, unlovely and
unloving under such tuition; but Hyacinth Vaughan was saved from this by
her peculiar disposition. The child was all poetry. Lady Vaughan never
wearied of trying to correct her. She carefully pruned, as she imagined,
all the excess of imagination and romance. She might as well have tried
to prevent the roses from blooming, the dew from falling, or the leaves
from springing. All that she succeeded in was in making the child keep
her thoughts and fancies to herself. She talked to the trees as though
they were grave, living friends, full of wise counsel; she talked to the
flowers as though they were familiar and dear playfellows. The
imagination so sternly repressed ran riot in a hundred different ways.
It was most unfortunate for the child. If she had been as other
children--if her imagination, instead of being cruelly repressed, had
been trained and put to some useful purpose--if her love of romance had
been wisely guarded--if her great love of poetry and beauty, her great
love of ideality, had been watched and allowed for--the one great error
that darkened her life would never have been committed. But none of this
was done. She was literally afraid to speak of that which filled her
thoughts and was really part of her life. If she asked any uncommon
question Lady Vaughan scolded her, and Sir Arthur, his hands shaking
nervously, would say, "The child is going wrong--going wrong."
It was without exception the dullest and saddest life any child could
lead. At thirteen there came two breaks in the monotony--she had a
music-master come from Oakton, and she found a key that fitted the
library door. How often had she stood against the library windows,
looking through them, and longing to open one of those precious volumes;
but when she asked Sir Arthur for a book, he told her she could not
understand them--she must be content to play with her doll.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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