The Shriek: A Satirical BurlesqueSomerville, Charles
General
The Shriek: A Satirical Burlesque
Somerville, Charles
Hull, E. M. (Edith Maude). Sheik -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Satire
She remembered sticking it down there when she began the first round
of her terrific battle with Amut Ben Butler. She remembered, too,
that it had been her last fag.
But fate had been good to her.
Apparently the ciggy had gone out the same time she did.
She scuffled her britches for a match. She lighted up. She took a deep
inhale. It was tonic. She filled her lungs again.
A "V" now formed between her black eyebrows.
Verbeena was coming back!
She hopped into her pants. She began to stir about looking for other
things to put on. Just then a swarthy, black-haired young creature, a
slip of a girl about six feet tall, entered.
"Look here----" began Verbeena.
"Ay bane Hulda, the maid," said this little Arab girl. "You could have
a wash for yourself back of that curtain over there. It's a bath in
it. And your trunks bane come."
"Three cheers for both those things at least," murmured Verbeena. And
soon she had tossed her clothes back through the curtain and was
splashing about in her usual vigorous fashion.
When a little later she thrust her head through the curtain she saw
that Hulda had neatly arranged her riding britches and jacket, her
military brushes and her cigarette cases out upon the divan and was
digging deep in one of the satchels that was part of Verbeena's
luggage regarding which it would seem Sheik Amut Ben Butler must have
sent a retrieving party to grab it back from Musty Ale.
"What are you doing in that satchel?" asked Verbeena sharply.
"Ay bane looking for your razor, kiddo," said Hulda deferentially.
Verbeena laughed bitterly.
"My girl," she said, "don't you know there's no safety in this awful
place?"
By this time Hulda had a trunk open. It contained the pretty dresses
Verbeena had brought along for girlish evenings on the Sahara. Girlish
evenings! She choked back a sob.
Aw, gee! Why couldn't she have been let alone to swagger about always
in her cute boyish britches!
Hulda looked again and studied Miss Mayonnaise's head and shoulders as
they stuck before the curtain.
She stared more closely.
"Oho," cried Hulda, "Allah bane knock me dead for a dumbkopf! I git it
now what is it you is. Wait--I git a Turkish towel--we got lots of
'em, we have--and I give you a Swedish massage."
"Hulda, my desert child, I thank you," said Verbeena gratefully.
By the way, all this time they had been talking French as they did
later when Hulda was arranging Verbeena's clothing anew.
[Illustration: HULDA, AN AFRICAN MAID.]
She looked up at her mistress, her big black Swedish eyes puzzled as
she asked:
"_Homme_ or _femme_ this morning?"
"_Homme_," said Verbeena decidedly, "excepting that after I've got my
long boots on and everything, you can go into that third trunk to the
right and pass me a hatpin."
"There!" said Verbeena stamping into one boot heartily. "There," said
she stamping into the other. "Now, Hulda the hatpin."
She saw that Hulda watched her suspiciously as she handed up the
weapon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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