The Shriek: A Satirical BurlesqueSomerville, Charles
General
The Shriek: A Satirical Burlesque
Somerville, Charles
Hull, E. M. (Edith Maude). Sheik -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Satire
"That will be all," said Verbeena.
But Hulda held on.
"Out you go," said the proud captive brusquely.
"But----" Hulda still watched to see what disposition Verbeena meant
to make of the hatpin.
"Off with you," repeated Verbeena. "What? Now, then, will you go!"
The distrait girl used the hatpin lavishly on Hulda.
"Yumping Yiminy Allah!" shrieked the Arab girl and hit the desert with
abandon.
Verbeena was rummaging her luggage for cigarettes when a soft voice
sounded behind her:
"Madame is doubtless ready for lunch?"
The voice was pleasant, indeed, operatic and even before she turned to
face him Verbeena knew she was about to get her second view of the
villain, Spaghetti.
"Don't you call me Madame," she said fiercely, "you cowardly sandbag
specialist. Don't you call me anything less than Sheika Verbeena.
There's going to be a wedding around here as soon as I lay my hands on
that unprincipled hoo-hoo of a Sheik of yours. And don't you forget
it."
With lithe, strong fingers she proceeded to put a Grecian bend in
Spaghetti's Roman nose.
"Do you hear?"
She followed up with a little hatpin treatment while the faithful
fellow let forth a coloraturo lyrico outbursto for the intervention of
from twelve to fifteen hundred saints.
"Hop about and get me about fifty boxes of cigarettes, one hundred
each, long, fat ones, do you hear? What's that? Remember, once for
all, Spaghetti, I want none of your sauce."
Outside the tent Spaghetti kissed his fingers with a fierce smack,
made a noise like a buzz saw through his teeth while drawing a
forefinger across his throat.
It was the high sign that in matters of terrible vengeance the Black
Hand never muffs.
"Gott in Himmel!" he snarled under his breath. "Joost wait teel da
padrone, da boss, de beega da fel' geet back! You catcha sometang. See
like maybe you, sapristi, don't!"
Despite his feelings, however, he hot-footed a return with the
cigarettes and it was to be noticed that when he bowed low and handed
them to her he said:
"Here, Queen."
Well aware was he that he would remember that hatpin at meals for days
to come and, expert chef that he was, he regarded with horror the idea
of a future in which he would figure as Spaghetti enbrochette.
But--aha! let the big fellow handle her! The padrone, the grand demon,
him, the goldo fellow, Monseigneur, he'd mighty quick show her who was
the real frito misto of that establishment!
Though why in the world the boss wanted to dally with a _donna_ that
looked and acted more like _wallyo_, presented a mystery Spaghetti
sadly admitted to himself was too much for him to un-ravioli. So he
stirred himself in her behalf for the nonce and fetched her some _cous
cous_ into which he let go the red pepper with a lavish, fine Italian
hand.
For if she strangled to death he could always pretend he had got mixed
and thought it was the cinnamon.
CHAPTER VII
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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