The Shriek: A Satirical BurlesqueSomerville, Charles
General
The Shriek: A Satirical Burlesque
Somerville, Charles
Hull, E. M. (Edith Maude). Sheik -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Satire
"O, Good Lord," again and again reverberated in the ears of
Verbeena, "you squint so with that snub-nosed face of yours!
You--gently--gently, gently into his arms. You're not wrestling
him--you're loving him--you--not that sidelong glance--a big look into
his eyes and now then--remember although we've only begun here, this
is the end of the picture--the final close-up--now, extend lips in
full, both--stick 'em way out--that's it--now then, kiss--kiss--hold
that--hold it--kiss, kiss, kiiiiiiiisssssssssss!"
"You know nothing of kissing! Nothing! And you're supposed to have had
Oriental training too! Here--come here--like _THIS! Kiss--kiss--LIKE
THIS!!_"
A gleam of anger shot into Verbeena's tired eyes but she was
powerless. The compelling quality of this terrible creature, the
force with which he held her, the exultant, horrible, heavy, hot, and,
she could feel, relentless, half savagely cruel, indifferent way he
was doing it to her!
[Illustration: WHEREIN THE MOVIE MAHOUT INFORMS VERBEENA SHE WILL NEXT
BE REQUIRED TO BE SHOT OUT OF A PALM TREE BY HER LOVER IN MISTAKE FOR
A SQUIRREL.]
She dropped to her knees at the end of it begging for mercy.
He laughed at her coldly.
"You must get the idea of it--the sooner the better," he said with a
hauteur that made her cringe back into her old caterpillar crouch.
"Now the next scene--and we must hurry up or the light will be bad--is
where you are shot out of the top of a palm tree by your lover in
mistake for a squirrel.
"Come now--action--Cameras!--Cameras train on that palm tree over
there. The tallest one, of course. Remember, Mrs. Amut, you fall
dead--a dead fall--right straight out of the tree on your face. What's
that? Dangerous? Nonsense! And what if it is? What do you suppose we
are paying you for? What's a cracked nose for art's sake! No more
nonsense, no more words--up you go!"
Verbeena climbed.
Sometime later on being restored to consciousness wherein she knew
what was going on around her, she heard the great Gristmille saying:
"Very well, hop up there, leading woman! All ready for the next
scene."
"What--what is it?" faltered Verbeena.
"How dare you ask questions? Your instructions will all come in due
time. And now's the time!
"In the next scene you fall from your horse--you're shot or something,
perhaps struck in the back with a lance--I haven't quite made up my
mind--and then you will be run over by a herd of wild Arabian horses
with Mr. Arbuckle pursuing in the hope of rescue borne by eleven
camels, one for the hope and ten for Mr. Arbuckle.
"Come now--quick--and remember you are not to look frightened as the
horses--about two thousand of them--rush over you. As a heroine you
are calm-eyed in the face of certain death. If you do we'll have to
keep repeating the scene and I don't want to give too much time to it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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