Trude shakes her head as if to say, "Don't scold!" Then she raises
herself, murmurs, without looking up, a soft "Good-night," and goes
into the house.
Martin follows her.
Johannes buries his head in his arms and dreams to himself. He sees
her again as she raises herself to her full height with her eyes all
a-gleam,--then suddenly sank down as if struck by lightning. Then he
reproaches himself that he did not hasten to her side sooner, to
prevent her from falling, for he was nearest to her, and not only as
regards space!
Not only as regards space! As by a lurid flame--horrible,
bloody-red--his brain is suddenly illumined! Now he understands what
feelings inspired him on that midsummer night--why he flung the vase to
the ground--he makes a movement as if he would shatter it a second
time!--It is only for one moment--a moment of hellish torture--then the
flame is suddenly extinguished, there is darkness once more--intense,
pain-penetrated darkness!--He passes his hand over his brow, as if to
fire the flame anew, but all remains dark,--and dark and mysterious
remains to him what he has just experienced. He feels as though he must
cry out, as if he must confide to the night this unintelligible agony
in which he is wrestling. He drops on to his knees, on the very same
spot where Trude sank down, rests his head on the edge of the bench and
moans softly to himself.
Suddenly a door in the house slams. His brother's steps resound in the
entrance.
He jumps up and sits down on the bench. Martin's figure, darkly
outlined, appears on the veranda.
"Brother, brother!" Johannes calls out to him.
"Are you there, my boy?" the latter answers and throws himself with a
deep sigh on to the bench. "Well, things are nearly all right again
now--she has cried herself to sleep and now she is lying there quite
calmly and her breath too comes quietly and regularly. I stood for a
while at her bedside and looked at her. I am quite at a loss! Her
child-like mind used to lie before me as clear as a mirror--and now all
at once--what can it be? However much I think about it, I don't seem to
get on to the right track. Perhaps she troubles because as yet there is
no prospect of--of--yes, probably that's it. But I have always kept my
longing quite to myself--didn't want to hurt her feelings--for of
course, she can't alter the matter. And really, if one thinks about it,
she is but a child herself and much too young to fulfil maternal
duties. Why, one must have patience!" Thus he tries to talk away his
soul's secret sorrow. Johannes remains silent. His heart is so full, so
full. He wants to give his brother some proof of his affection and
knows not how? He too has his own pain which he wants to work off, and,
grasping Martin's hand, he says from the depths of his soul: "Oh,
everything, everything will come right again!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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