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The Solitary Summer
by Elizabeth von Arnim
To the man of wrath
With some apologies and much love
May
May 2nd.--Last night after dinner, when we were in the garden, I said,
"I want to be alone for a whole summer, and get to the very dregs of
life. I want to be as idle as I can, so that my soul may have time to
grow. Nobody shall be invited to stay with me, and if any one calls they
will be told that I am out, or away, or sick. I shall spend the months
in the garden, and on the plain, and in the forests. I shall watch the
things that happen in my garden, and see where I have made mistakes. On
wet days I will go into the thickest parts of the forests, where the
pine needles are everlastingly dry, and when the sun shines I'll lie on
the heath and see how the broom flares against the clouds. I shall be
perpetually happy, because there will be no one to worry me. Out there
on the plain there is silence, and where there is silence I have
discovered there is peace."
"Mind you do not get your feet damp," said the Man of Wrath, removing
his cigar.
It was the evening of May Day, and the spring had taken hold of me body
and soul. The sky was full of stars, and the garden of scents, and the
borders of wallflowers and sweet, sly pansies. All day there had been a
breeze, and all day slow masses of white clouds had been sailing across
the blue. Now it was so still, so motionless, so breathless, that it
seemed as though a quiet hand had been laid on the garden, soothing and
hushing it into silence.
The Man of Wrath sat at the foot of the verandah steps in that placid
after-dinner mood which suffers fools, if not gladly, at least
indulgently, and I stood in front of him, leaning against the sun-dial.
"Shall you take a book with you?" he asked.
"Yes, I shall," I replied, slightly nettled by his tone. "I am quite
ready to admit that though the fields and flowers are always ready to
teach, I am not always in the mood to learn, and sometimes my eyes are
incapable of seeing things that at other times are quite plain."
"And then you read?"
"And then I read. Well, dear Sage, what of that?"
But he smoked in silence, and seemed suddenly absorbed by the stars.
"See," he said, after a pause, during which I stood looking at him and
wishing he would use longer sentences, and he looked at the sky and did
not think about me at all, "see how bright the stars are to-night.
Almost as though it might freeze."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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