"Mrs. Czepanek--Mrs. Czepanek--what I am going to say--what I am going
to say"--his raised hands jerked back and forth before her face--"will
either bring us together again--or--send us apart forever. I was
cowardly before. I thought I could evade the truth. When I said I didn't
mean what I wrote in my poem, I was lying. I felt exactly what I wrote.
And a thousand times more strongly. But I oughtn't to have spoken. I
know I frightened you. You were bewildered. You didn't know how to take
me. You probably think me some enamoured adventurer who wants to exploit
the trust you show. Dear, dear Mrs. Czepanek, I promise you I will never
again annoy you with a display of my feelings. But don't withdraw your
friendship from me. Please don't. Just imagine what would become of me
if I were to lose you!"
So _that's_ what it was!
Oh, God! If nothing else stood between them.
She could not help herself--she had to lean against a tree and cry. Her
tears soon soaked her veil, and she raised it and pressed her finger
tips to her eyes.
"What's the matter?" she heard his voice, hoarse with anxiety. "Did I
wound you so deeply? Was what I said so very bad? I will atone for it.
Just pardon me. You must pardon me."
When she heard him beg her pardon so humbly for the immeasurable
happiness he had bestowed upon her, she was seized with a frenzy, and
throwing her grand manner to the winds and her shame, to boot, she flung
her arms about his neck with a groan of abandon, pressed her body
against his, and kissed his lips, and sucked and bit them.
Under the impetus of this wild, unchaste kiss, he staggered and held
himself erect on her, digging his fingers into the flesh of her upper
arm.
How good it felt, because it hurt so!
"At last, at last!" her heart cried.
Now he knew who she was and what she had to give him.
When she pulled herself together, she saw he had sunk back with his head
leaning against the same tree that had supported her. His hat had fallen
to the ground. His eyes were closed. His face had the ashen hue of
death.
For a few moments all was still. The only sound was the clanging of the
tram bells.
"My love, my love!" she whispered, stooping and then drawing herself
upward on him. "Wake up, my love! wake up, and come!"
He opened his eyes and stared at her with the look of a foolish slave.
"Come, come," she exulted. "Come back, come home. I don't want to roam
about any more--in the woods or restaurants. Come home! Come to me!"
He did not respond. He seemed to have lost his mind completely.
A dull sense of guilt awoke in her, but was instantly stifled by joy.
"Come, come!"
With both hands she drew him away from the spot that had become the
cradle of her bliss--and his, too. Was it remarkable that happiness
should benumb him and rob him of his senses? He upon whom Lilly
Czepanek bestowed herself, Lilly Czepanek for whose favour hundreds had
begged in vain, might well lose his senses. It by no means derogated
from his dignity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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