She stood there smiling, softly folding her hands, as if she laid them
lightly over some sudden gift. On either side of her was a laughing
face, and even she found it hard to tell which was which. She was very
still as she made that perfect transition into the past, and the only
sound in her ears was through the lips that laughed. And then, into
that full stillness, in which no step moved or voice called or bird
flew, there came the cry of a heron outside the door.
III
It did not reach her at first. She heard it, indeed, coming back to the
present with the sound, but that Was all. The thing behind it had to
travel after her over twenty years. The cry of the heron was natural
enough, with a famous heronry so near, and it was only because of the
exceptional stillness of the night that it drew her attention now. Her
mind went mechanically to the high wood behind the Hall, to the
long-necked, slender-legged birds going home to the tall trees that on
this unstirred evening would be stiff as a witch’s broom. She even had
time to remember the old legend of their battle with the rooks, before
the thing that had been running for twenty years entered her
consciousness with a rush.
She stiffened then. From being softly still she became a rigid thing,
stiller than sleep, stiller than death, because it was passionate
will-power that held her still. It was already a moment or two since
the sound had passed, but it still rang in the ear which had seemed to
refuse to take it in. It had flashed through her brain like a bright
sword flung in a high arc through a night without a star, but the truth
that was behind it she held rigidly from her even as it tried to step
within. She knew that it was too low for a bird’s call, too sharp and
clear in that muffle of mist, but she shut the knowledge out. She would
not let herself either breathe or think until she had heard the sound
again.
The shock was as great the second time, but it had a different effect.
She began to tremble from head to foot; even her lips parted and shook;
her hands relaxed and began to pluck at her gown. Her breath came in
quick gasps that were almost sobs as her eyes strained towards the
darkness that held the door. Her brain kept telegraphing her body that
it must be still, but it was too strong for it, and paid no heed. Her
heart alone, beating in hard, ponderous strokes, seemed as if by itself
it must shut out any further sound; and when the call came the third
time, breaking the silence so that it could not close again, her own
power of restraint went by the board as well. Her hands lifted
themselves and gripped each other across her breast, and her voice,
shaken and full of tears, forced itself into her throat. "Jim!" she
heard herself saying, "Jim!"--with no knowledge that she had meant to
speak, and in that one word admitted the final defeat of all her life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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