He donned a suit, next morning, And sought an auctioneer-- "I'm ordered out to China, so harken, and look here; Bring up your ivory hammer to the house, where you will see, The blinds in crumpled papers, and cant the lot for me." He auctioned off the carpets, the suites of every room, He canted to a builder, the villa for its doom; He made him sign a docket, to take down every brick, Within the shortest notice, so he commenced it quick. They first upset the chimneys, and then unstitched the slates, They lifted off the rafters, and rooted out the grates; The door, and window casings, they took in several hauls, And carted off, the debris of bricks, that made the walls. [Illustration] At length a workman picking with crowbar, in the rear, Let fall his pipe in terror, his knees went loose with fear, A chill of woe electric, begirt his heart, like lead, He found a row of corpses, and every corpse was dead! I've sketched him, with the crowbar, and falling pipe, to show His awful fright, and sorrow, the fact is, such a blow Might paralize his senses, unfit him for his trade-- I hope some kindly ladies, will have collections made. But yet a glamoured beauty was on them all, so nice, He felt like pins and needles, in glass of strawberry ice, He shambled round a corner, "O Constable!" he said, "I've found a row of corpses, and every corpse is dead!" I like that honest fellow, tho' poor, with eye forlorn, Said he, "O Mister Pleeceman, I wish I wasn't born"-- I've sought again to sketch him, above their ghastly rest, He indicates a label, on every corpse's breast. [Illustration] 'Twas down an empty cellar, below the bottle shelves, They looked as they were sleeping, in fact, they looked themselves, The daughters of Herr Zazel, the wife of Zazel, and The Pleeceman asked for Zazel, was he in Switzerland? The oldest native, answered a deputating clutch Of specials, that there never before did happen such, And so they wrote sensations, and from the civic band, A posse of detectives, went scoot for Switzerland. [Illustration] The crowner's Morgue was opened, the jurymen were caught, And every man protested, although he didn't ought, They went to view the corpses. "Mein gott, vots them?" said one, "Votever has there happened, vots been, and gone, and done? I could'nt spare ze money, avay mit me, so many, And so tinks I, I'll mesmer zem all, I vont brings any, I wraps 'em up mit labels, vots tied upon zem zare, Ven I comes home, to vake 'em, and sorts 'em up mit care. I vos in my purse, only ze cash enough to stand, For vot you calls, von single man, avay in Svitzerland. And so I mesmerised my vife, my daughters, von by von, And now I'll vake 'em all, and zen, by shings, you zee me run!"