He party pumped his arms, he made a maze of passes, With flashing eyes of flame, that lit his pinc nez glasses. He clawed with his phalanges as he were going to seize Some hidden ghost, when lo! at length, his wife began to sneeze, His wife commenced the sneezing, the girls took up the que, "Now zee me run, or you vill find, too moosh vor me to do," He cried, and off he started, and took the tram for home, When peering thro' the twilight, of autumn's evening gloam, He saw a shocking poster, that curdled up his blood, "This ground to let for building," on which his house had stood, He laughed a weird, and woful, idiotic laugh at fate, He took a second tram-car, and sought a barber straight, And sitting down, he uttered a low despairing groan, "I'm vot you calls vor Bedlam, so shaves me to ze bone!!" [Illustration] [Illustration: JOY! ON SEEING A FLYING SPRING.] I MADE him quite at home, In a villa just by Rome,-- An Italian, of the antient noble style,-- But I saw him 'neath a star, And the tink of his guitar, Was an irritating thing, that made me smile, His object, was my spouse for to beguile, But when he caught it hot, With sporting gun, and shot, He took a flying spring, across a stile! His object, was my spouse for to beguile. [Illustration: The Mate of the Mary Anne] "I'M the Mate," quoth he, "Of the 'Mary Anne,'" As she opened the door to him, And I'm all the way from the state of New York, With a present, I've got from Jim!" "O dear!" said she, "It's a pleasure to see A friend, who has known my son, We've a party, enjoying the evening tea, And you're just in time for fun." "Ah! thank you," said he, "I would like to explain, The chest, is a cumbersome weight, I'd have brought it myself; but I hadn't the dimes, To cover the cost of the freight. "It's a matter of seventeen shillings and six, But you see, I am one of the crew, I'd have paid it myself, for sake of your son, If I could have lifted my screw." "Ah! Jim was the very best pal that I knew," She got out the cash for him, "Now hang up your hat, and come in to the tea, And tell us a lot about Jim." He hung up his hat, and went in to the tea, Said he to a girl, who was there, "You're the livin' dead image of my chum Jim, Regardin' yer figure, and hair." Said he to another, "Yer like yer mother, But still the expression of Jim, Is a playin' around yer beautiful smile, A perfeck sister of him. "I guess you are soft, on the ring that I wear," And he 'splayed his horney fist, "I'd like you to wear it, for honor of Jim, 'Twould almost bangle your wrist!