The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
{Kate.} Wrong, Christie? Only that you're an
industrious, hard-working girl, and deserve a help-mate.
{Chris.} _(tugging at her apron impetuously)_ I
don't want a helpmate. I want all you, Squire. We
were children together, you and me, mistress and
maid. Don't halve your heart now, Squire. I can't
bear it.
{Kate.} _(rises)_ My heart's large enough, Christie,
for all folks.
{Chris.} _(biting her lips)_ I can't help what I'm
saying. I won't bear it.
{Kate.} Hush, hush! Take the child upstairs and
don't be silly, _(goes up to Gun. and Dor.)_
{Chris.} _(crosses to Fel. C.--in an undertone to
Fel.)_ You're the girl that they say is in love with
a soldier, aren't you?
{Fel.} Yes, miss.
{Chris.} A soldier! That's why the Squire has
gushed over you, isn't it?
{Fel.} No, miss.
{Chris.} _(contemptuously)_ "No, miss!" _(shaking
her finger at Fel.)_ Now listen to one word from me.
You get wed to your common soldier as soon as you
can hook him, do you hear?
{Fel.} Why?
{Chris.} Because as long as you're in this house,
there's mischief and bad blood in it, upon my soul
there is! Come along and see your bedroom.
_(She seizes Fel. by the arm, and takes her up the
steps into the house, pushing her in front of her
--Gun. and Kate come down.)_
{Gun.} _(L. C.)_ Well, I'm mightily obliged to you,
Squire. I'll bring the brat's box down to-night, that
I will.
{Kate.} _(R. C.)_ Do, Gunnion. Are you thirsty?
{Gun.} Thirsty! I'm perishing for a drop o'
drink.
{Kate.} Get it for yourself. _(Gun. crosses to L.
door)_ And, Gunnion, _(Gun. turns)_ Milk!
{Gun.} Milk?
{Kate.} No ale till to-morrow night.
{Gun.} I'm the father of thirteen, I am. I ain't
got a tooth to my yead. Did I understand you,
Squire, to say milk?
{Kate.} Yes, milk, _(joins Dormer in archway)_
_(Eric saunters on from R., 1 e., sits on seat R., looks
at Kate's book for a moment.)_
{Gun.} _(downcast)_ Milk! Oh!
_(He goes off door L.)_
{Dormer.} _(up stage with Kate)_ Will you walk
towards Market-Sinfield, Mr. Thorndyke?
{Eric.}. _(on seat r.)_ Not yet, parson, thanks.
{Dormer.} _(turning away)_ Pah!
{Kate.} _(stopping him)_ You will come to the
Harvest Supper, Parson Dormer, won't you?
{Dormer.} _(looking at Eric)_ No.
{Kate.} And smoke your clay pipe like father
used to?
{Dormer.} _(looking at Kate)_ Perhaps, _(he goes
off through archway, to L.)_
_(Kate watches him through archway till he has
disappeared, then she comes softly to door L., listens
for a moment and sees that it is closed. She then
crosses to R., C., gives a glance at the house, and
runs to Eric's side. Eric puts his arms round
her, and kisses her fondly. Music ceases.)_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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