The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
{Izod.} _(offstage)_ Hullo! Christie!
{Chris.} Why, come in, Izod, darling--what's
wrong?
{Izod.} _(R. off stage)_ It's the dog, he can't abide
me.
_(Chris, hurls her scrubbing brush at the dog.)_
{Chris.} _(savagely)_ Lie down, you beast, _(softly)_
Come along, Izod, dear! _(comes down)_
_(Izod backs on as though afraid of dog. Izod
Haggerston enters through archway. He is a little
thin, dark fellow--half cad, half gipsy--with a
brown face, and crisp, curly, black hair. He is
dirty and disreputable, an idler and a sneak.)_
_(L. C.--putting her arms round his neck)_ I haven't
seen you for nearly a week, brother dear.
{Izod.} _(C., shaking himself clear)_ All right, don't
maul, Christie. If the Squire was commonly civil
to a poor chap, you'd see a little more of me. I
want something to drink, and some coin for tobacco.
{Chris.} _(standing by him and stroking his head)_
No luck, dearie?
{Izod.} Luck! No! The farmers won't look at
a fellow with a dark skin--curse 'em!
{Chris.} The brutes. _(fondling him)_
{Izod.} Well, don't maul, Christie. I'm dead dry.
Chris, _(looking round)_ Wait here and I'll bring
you a drink, _(she crosses to L.)_
_(She goes into outhouse L., Izod looks round
towards door R., C., with an evil expression. He then
deliberately takes off the coloured handkerchief
which he wears round his neck, unfolds it and
produces a bunch of bright keys.)_
{Izod.} _(jingling the keys and looking towards
door R., C., )_ Keys! I wonder if keys are worth
anything. _(slips keys into side pocket, and crosses
to door L., meeting Chris., who comes out with a
mug of milk. Snatching it from her)_ There's a
dear! _(he puts mug to lips and takes it away quickly,
wiping his mouth with the back of his hand)_ Pah!
You're a good sort of a sister--milk!
{Chris.} I dursn't tap the ale without Squire's
orders--the new barrel isn't to be touched till the
Harvest Feast. Down with it--it's meat and drink.
{Izod.} Ugh! Here goes! Confound the Squire!
_(he drinks, gives back mug and holds out hand for
coin. She puts mug on table)_ Coin for tobacco.
{Chris.} Don't spend your money on tobacco, darling.
Have a meal.
{Izod.} I had a meal yesterday, mid-day. _(proudly)_
I earned two shillings in half-an-hour.
{Chris.} Good gracious! How?
{Izod.} _(walking R., and back)_ I and old Mrs.
Thorndyke's gardener carried a sick woman on a litter
from Pagley Railway Station to the White Lion,
at Market-Sinfield. Oh, she was a weight! _(sits R.
of L., table)_
{Chris.} Carried a sick woman on a litter? _(leans
against table L., of it)_
{Izod.} The railway journey had upset her, and the
doctor said she was too ill to be shook up on the
roadway.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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