The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
{Chris.} A common woman or a lady?
{Izod.} A lady--jolly dark, jolly pretty, and
jolly ill.
{Chris.} _(curiously)_ What does she do at an inn in
Market-Sinfield? _(sits on table)_
{Izod.} She gave out that she was a stranger in
these parts, and wanted to see a clergyman. She
was a weight!
{Chris.} Well?
{Izod.} So I fetched Mr. Dormer, the mad parson.
{Chris.} Did he go to her?
{Izod.} I dunno. Coin for tobacco! _(rises)_
_(Izod goes up to arch.)_
{Chris.} I've only got a little money. I'll fetch
it, dear, _(she takes up mug reflectively)_ A pretty lady
in Market-Sinfield--very dark, very ill, and among
strangers, _(sighing)_ How unlucky all dark women
seem to be!
{Izod.} Coin for tobacco! _(rapping table)_
{Chris.} _(starting)_ Oh, yes, dear.
_(She goes off L., Izod again produces the keys and
jingles them on the table.)_
{Izod.} _(glancing in the direction of door R., C.)_
Keys! and a name cut on the key-ring, _(shaking
them)_ What sort of a tune do they play, I wonder?
_(rises)_
_(Chris, re-enters carrying a small purse. She comes
L. of table, and empties the contents into his R.
hand.)_
_(counting money)_ Five bob.
{Chris.} Leave me a little.
{Izod.} _(pocketing money)_ There's a shilling for
you. I'll pay you what I owe you when you coax
the squire to employ me regularly on the farm, _(goes
to R., C.)_
{Chris.} _(C.)_ That'll never be--I've tried.
{Izod.} Have you? _(showing bunch of keys)_ Look
there. Don't snatch; read the name on the ring.
_(showing the ring only)_
_(She examines the ring, which he still holds fast.)_
{Chris.} The name of the man who is always hanging
about this place, _(quickly)_ Where did you get
this?
_(Gilbert Hythe appears in the archway from L.;
as he enters, they separate, Izod to R., she to L.)_
{Gil.} Is the Squire indoors, Christie? _(He comes
down C. He is a fine, strapping fellow, about thirty,
dressed roughly in an old velvet jacket, cords and
gaiters. He carries a light double-barrelled gun)_
{Chris.} _(L.)_ Yes, Mr. Hythe.
{Gil.} _(C, seeing Izod)_ What the devil are you
doing here?
{Izod.} _(R.)_ Nothing.
{Gil.} That's what you're always doing everywhere.
Get out!
{Izod.} _(defiantly)_ I cleaned the windows here last
Tuesday, and I haven't been paid for it.
{Gil.} That's a lie. _(goes towards him)_
{Izod.} Well, then, I _have_ been paid for it, and I've
come to visit my dear sister.
{Gil.} Look here, Izod, I've had half an hour at
the ricks this morning, ferreting the rats. A man
shoots rats because they are vermin--it's lucky for
you, and idlers like you, that you're on two legs
instead of four.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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