Humorous stories; Politicians -- United States -- Fiction
"Yes, I was worried, and the sight of Andrew Sale asleep on my sofa did
not tend to soothe that feeling. At any time a visit from the county
chairman would have been most unwelcome, but now it was an exhibition of
unmitigated gall! Another contribution, I supposed, angrily eyeing the
sleeper. I had been the 'good thing' for Sale and his crowd for some
years past, and had pretty well resolved to cut loose from them--and
politics. I thought of the many ambitious young fellows I knew who had
been permanently injured while hovering around the political flame.
Some, indeed, were burned to death, others are floundering through life
on crippled wings; all were more or less singed, both morally and
financially. My experience thus far had been a financial singe, and the
last scorching was still fresh and quivering. Only the week before I had
given Sale my check for quite a tolerable sum, and then as soon as he
had left my office, kicked myself for doing so. The money, he said, was
to go toward defraying the expenses of the nominating convention, which
was to meet at Shawnee on the twenty-first, and as a good man and true I
had to 'cough up' with the rest of them.
"And here he was again!
"As I glared at him the chairman turned over uneasily, sputtered,
sneezed, opened his eyes, and sat up, staring stupidly.
"'How're you? How're you?' he roared, wiping his face with a grimy
handkerchief. 'Ain't this dust awful? There ain't no doing anything with
it. If you put the winders down you'll smother with the heat, and if you
leave 'em up, you'll choke to death. Hobson's choice, eh? Ha, ha! And
all that prayin' for rain on Sunday, too. Providence's ways is certainly
beyond us--ain't they? Well, I rather guess _this_ visit 'll surprise
ye.'
"'It does, Mr. Sale, it does!' said I warmly. 'You know I told you when
you were here the other day that I could not--you know damn well
that----'
"'Now, now, now,' said he soothingly, holding up his hand, 'don't do
that! You're on the wrong tack, Mister, 'deed you are. There's another
guess a comin' to you. It ain't money we want this time, no, siree!
Money don't cut no ice this trip, though it _is_ a mighty handy thing to
have a jinglin' in your jeans--ain't it? No, it ain't the "sinews," as
Jim McGubbin calls it; it's _you_, Mr. Holloway; it's _you_, sir!'
"'Me, Mr. Sale?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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