Humorous stories; Politicians -- United States -- Fiction
"'Yes, sir; you. Why it's as plain as the nose on your face, Mr.
Holloway, and that is--the Democratic party of the --th deestric' is
pretty unanimous on _one_ thing anyhow, this year. I'll admit we ain't
come to no final decision on our platform, but we air pretty generally
agreed on our candi_date_, and that's the Honrubble Andrew Jackson
Holloway--yourself, sir! That's why I am here to-day. When I heerd you
speakin' in court just now, I turned and says to Jim McGubbin, says I,
"That there's the voice that'll wake 'em up in Congress." I felt just
like the old feller in the Bible. The sperrit of prophecy was on me. And
Jim he agreed with me. Jim's got the Shawnee organization right under
his thumb, same as--'tween you and me--I've got H----. McGubbin's out
and out for Holloway. "Holloway and Reform!" That's our cry this year. I
seen Potter James and old Pete Whitehead over to Andrewville yesterday,
and they'll fetch their people in line for you all right. If you'll make
the run, we'll elect you sure; and that ain't no lie.'
"Sale, a big man with a loud voice, impressive tones, and masterful
ways, overpowered me.
"'Sit down, Mr. Sale,' I said weakly, 'sit down. Let us talk it over.
This nomination--it is a great honor, I am sure--I can scarcely tell you
how flattered--how----'
"'Oh, that's all right, that's all right,' said he, beaming. 'I know'd
you'd be a little, well--flustered, eh?--when I fust broke the news to
you, and I don't say but what it isn't perfectly natural, too. These
things don't happen to a man every day, and especially to--beggin' your
pardon--to a man as young as yourself, sir. But the Democratic party of
the --th deestric' of Illinoy knows a good thing when they sees it.'
Sale's unconscious sarcasm hurt me. 'I have sounded them to the bottom,'
he went on, 'and it's Holloway, Holloway, Holloway, everywhere. Now
you'll let us put you up, won't you? There ain't no earthly doubt 'bout
your gettin' the nomination. Harrison may give old Colonel Harrison its
vote on the first ballot, just as a compliment, you know; and I'll admit
that down Hall City way there's some talk of Sile Munyon, but there
ain't nothin' to it. We'll prick the Munyon boom before it's bigger'n a
pea. We'll fix things, you bet. And we'll elect you, too! It's a good
job to hold down--that of being a Congressman; it ain't the office so
much as it is the purgatives that go with it. I'd like to go to Congress
myself. Maybe I will some day. Well, as I was goin' to say, I driv over
to the Courthouse Sunday, and saw the boys there, and I talked them into
the right way o' thinkin'. They are all O. K.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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