Janet was not afraid. The world’s mine oyster. Her feeling was even more
buoyant than that of the young man who goes up to London to seek his
fortune, as being more entirely ignorant, visionary, and without
foundation. A young man can at least amuse himself for his day, even if
he is to be swept off upon the dark waters of ruin to-morrow; but a
girl, a little governess, going to a house in St. John’s Wood! What
amazing folly, what wonderful self-delusion, what a little dauntless,
unforeboding, almost heroic heart! the ideal of a governess is very
different, but Janet felt no regrets, no alarms. She was going to
conquer fate. What she would have liked would have been to have had a
longer journey before her, to have travelled the whole day in order to
have been able to _savourer_ her release, her freedom, the novelty of
everything. She would have liked to arrive in her new sphere when it was
dark, when she could only have a mysterious glimpse of the life before
her, so as to save up a sensation for the next day, which would bring a
full discovery of all her surroundings. But as things were she was very
well content.
And then Janet began to think what sort of a person Mrs. Harwood would
be. Would she be the nice sweet motherly person who sometimes in a novel
took the young governess to her heart and made her feel at home at once?
Janet almost hoped not, for that would be too easy, too commonplace and
unexciting--to go from one kind home to another, and find everything
made smooth for her on every side. Or would she be the purse-proud rich
woman who would consider the governess as beneath her notice, with a
footman who would ask “Any name?” as was done to Tom Pinch in
“Chuzzlewit” when he went to look after his sister. Foolish Janet, in
the exuberance of her life and untried power, thought it would be
“rather fun” to have to do with such a specimen of the employer. She
felt with delight that she would be able to hold her own, that no person
of the kind should overcome her, and that the fight would be rather
exhilarating than otherwise. Or would she perhaps be a fine lady, too
fine to be rude, who would take as little notice as possible of the
young stranger, ignore her existence, and consider her only as a medium
to grind a little knowledge into her children? All of these types Janet
had beheld in veracious fiction, which holds the mirror up to nature:
which of them should she encounter? She was not afraid of any, but the
consciousness that a battle of one kind or other would soon declare
itself gave excitement to her mind and light to her eye.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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