Even in those days you veiled your witchery and mischief-loving nature
behind that serious face with its curved but unsmiling mouth. Keen as
many of our pleasures were and blithe as were our pranks, I can
scarcely remember a smile upon your face. Now and then the merriest of
laughs rang out, fairly infectious in its happiness and joy, but of so
rare recurrence as to win for you the sobriquet of “Madam Gravity.”
Your inscrutability allured and charmed me then as I have seen it
fascinate others since. I shall never understand you, and yet I think I
misunderstand you less than others do, for you cannot hide from me the
quick thought and merry nature which you keep so well hidden from them;
and often when others think you most abstracted or sedate, I know you
are holding high carnival with Puck and Momus. Again and again I have
noted your gravity in the most humorous situations or with the most
ridiculous of persons, and have smiled in secret with you. Last summer,
when my mother won such a laugh by telling, as something that had
happened to her personally, the old story from Peele’s “Merrie
Conceits” which we had read as children, you looked grave, though the
incident had twice the humor to you that it had to the others. In my
own merriment I could not help glancing at you, and though neither of
us laughed, we understood each other’s amusement. Evidently you were
not used to having your mood comprehended, for after a moment you
seemed to realize that I was responding to what you had thought unknown
to all. You looked startled and then puzzled, and I suppose that I
became even more of a mystery to you than ever. You could not know that
my knowledge of you came from those early days when your nature was
taking shape. Without my memory of you as a child you would be as great
an enigma to me as to the rest of your friends, and so no doubt it is a
small thing in which to glory. But it gives me joy to feel that I
understand you better, and at this very moment know more of your
thoughts than your husband ever will.
I owe to you many dark closetings and whippings that I never deserved.
My mother complained that from being a troublesome child I had become a
fiend of mischief, but my father laughed and predicted that you would
make a man of me. I wonder if you ever think of him, and what your
thought is? We both so loved him that I cannot believe he has passed
entirely out of your heart. How ready he was to be our comrade! Whether
tired or busy he would join us, not as mentor but as playfellow; and
now that I know what there was to depress his spirits at that time, I
marvel at his cheer and courage. Would that I had one half of the
bravery with which he met his troubles!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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