Perhaps he was right in his assumption that you would have made a man
of me. I do not recollect any act of mine which bore the semblance of
courage except the rescue of the street dog from those boys. I hated to
see the poor beast tortured, but I feared the roughs, and so stood
faltering while you charged among them. Not till one of them struck you
was I driven to help, but I can still feel the fury which then took
possession of me. I was blind with rage, and a great weight seemed
pressing on my chest as I rushed among the boys and fought, hardly
conscious of the blows I gave or received; indeed, the whole thing was
a haze until I found myself sitting on the sidewalk, crying. For days I
went about with a bandage over my eye; but my father drank my health
that night, and I remember his pat of approval, and hear his “Bravo,
Donald, I’m proud of you.” It was significant that I received all the
praise, and you none; my courage was questionable, yours was not.
Those happy, thoughtless years! The one kill-joy was my mother, and she
made your life and mine so grievous with her needless harshness, quick
temper, and neglect of our comfort that I think she must have made my
father’s equally miserable. Dimly I can recollect her sudden gusts of
temper, and his instant dismissal of us from the room when they began.
Do you remember how he used to come up to the nursery to smoke, often
staying till our bedtime, and then how we could hear him go downstairs
and out of the front door? We did not know that he went to his club,
nor at what hour he returned; and if we had it would have meant nothing
to us. But we both knew he found no pleasure with my mother, and we
felt he was right, for in avoiding her he was but doing what was our
chief endeavor. I have heard many express admiration for her beauty,
for her church and charitable work, for her brilliancy in society, for
her executive ability, and for her general public spirit. Her neglect
of family duties, her extravagance, her frequent absences, and her
fatigued petulance when at home were known only to her household. Our
servants rarely remained a month with us,—were changed so often as to
destroy all possibility of comfort; but we three were not free to
follow their example, and so our misery made us the dearer to one
another. I am proud to think that, close as we drew together, my father
never uttered in my presence a single word of criticism or complaint
against my mother, and I should be the better man if, instead of
writing these unfilial words, I left them unsaid. Indeed, I will not
spend more of my evening on these old memories, but begin on my work.
Do you remember, Maizie, how my father taught us to give him and each
other a parting word? “Good-night, father. Good-night, Maizie. God
bless you both,” it used to be. He sleeps now in his grave, and three
years ago you barred your door to me, but still I can say as of old,
“Good-night, Maizie. God bless and keep you, dear.”
II
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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