shining in the dim light; and how odious it is to be listening to the
snores of the sleepers! At measured intervals the watchman, an old
soldier with a big face and thick black moustaches, passes. He is
wrapped in a brown cloth cape, and carries a dark lantern. Can it be
that he is not afraid, all alone, at night, in those long passages, and
on the stone staircases, where the wind rushes about with a dismal
noise? How I should hate to be obliged to go down those stairs,
shuddering in that darkness with the fear of meeting a ghost! I try to
drive away this new idea, but in vain, and then I think. . . . Where is
he who killed my father? Is it with fear, is it with horror that I
shudder at this question? And I go on thinking. . . . Does he know that
I am here? Panic seizes upon me, with the idea that the assassin might
be capable of assuming the disguise of a school servant, for the purpose
of killing me also. I commend my soul to God, and in the midst of these
awful thoughts I fall asleep at length, very late, to be awakened with a
start at half-past five in the morning, with an aching head, shaken
nerves, and an ailing mind, sick of a disease which is beyond cure.
VI
Three years have passed away since the autumnal evening on which a
hackney-coach had set down my stepfather and myself in that corner of
one of the gloomy avenues of Old Versailles, which is made more gloomy
by the walls of the school. I was to have remained at this school for
ten months only--the period of my mother's stay in Italy. That evening
was in the autumn of 1866; we are now in the winter of 1870, and I have
been all this time imprisoned in the Lycée, "where the air is so good,
and I get on so well." These are the reasons assigned by my mother for
not taking me back to her home. My schoolfellows pass before me in the
twilight of remembrance of that distant time. Rocquain, more pasty-faced
than ever, with his comic-actor-like red nose, sings café-concert
songs, smokes cigarettes in secret places, and collects the photographs
of actresses. Gervais, still brown and surly, has a passion for races,
at which he is always playing, and is reconciled with Leyreloup, "the
hedgehog," as we call him, whom he has infected with his dangerous
mania. The two are constantly arranging insect or tortoise
steeple-chases. They have even contrived a betting system, and ten of us
have joined in it. The game is played by placing in front of a
dictionary several bits of paper with the name of a horse written upon
each of them. The dictionary is then opened and shut rapidly, and the
bit of paper which is blown farthest away by the little breeze thus
created, is the winner, and the boys who have backed it divide the
stakes. Parizelle is bigger than ever; at sixteen he is already growing
a beard, and has been entertained by some military acquaintances at a
certain café, which he points out to us when we take our weekly walks.
As for myself, I have a new friend, one Joseph Dediot, who has
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