offered and accepted, a kiss snatched and returned, the false girl had
married an apothecary at Avranches. Dediot had even written two poems,
inspired by his misfortune, and one of them, dedicated to me, began
thus:
Sèche ton cœur, André, ne sois jamais aimant.
How could I have talked of all these small things to a lady who dined
with the Duchesse d'Arcole, whose intimate friends were a Maréchale and
two Marquises, and whose entertainments were described in the society
journals? My mother was now the beautiful Madame Termonde, and so
completely had her new name replaced the old, that I was almost the only
person who remembered she was also the widow of M. Cornélis, he whose
tragical death had been related in the very same newspapers. Had she
herself forgotten it?
"Forgetfulness! Is this then in all reality the world's law?" I asked
myself, with the indignant revolt of a young heart, which does not admit
the inevitable compromises of feeling. And I made answer to myself, No!
There was one person who remembered as well as I did, one person to whom
my father's death still remained a hideous nightmare, one person to whom
I could tell all my thoughts and all my grief--my dear, good, kind aunt.
In her case at least all the fond and tender things of the past remained
unchanged. When August came, and I went to Compiègne for a portion of
my holidays, I found everything in its place, both in the house and in
the heart of the dear old maid.
For my sake, I knew it well, she had consented to keep up her former
relations with my mother, and she dined with her three or four times a
year. Dear Aunt Louise! She would listen with the utmost kindness to all
my childish complaints, and she always sent me home softened, almost
appeased; more indulgent towards my mother, and convinced that I was
wrong in my judgment of M. Termonde.
Nevertheless, I did not tell Aunt Louise anything about my reprisals
upon the man whom I accused of having stolen my mother's heart from me.
I had perceived, very soon, certain signs of an antipathy towards myself
on the part of my stepfather, similar to that which I entertained
towards him. When I came rather suddenly into the salon, and he was
engaged in a conversation either with my mother or one of his friends,
my presence sufficed to cause a slight alteration in his voice; a change
which, most likely, no one else would have perceived, but which did not
escape me, for did not my own throat contract, and my lips quiver with
sheer abhorrence?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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