André, it was the ideas she had about your poor father that brought on
her illness. All these last weeks she talked of nothing else. She would
say: 'If only they do not kill André also. As for me, I am old, but he
is so young, so good, so gentle.' And she cried--yes, she cried
incessantly. 'Who is it that you think wants to harm M. André?' I asked
her. Then she turned away from me with a look of distrust that cut me to
the heart, although I knew that her head was astray. The doctor says
that she believes herself persecuted, and that it is a mania; he also
says that she may recover, but will never have her speech again."
I listened to Julie's talk in silence; I made no answer. I was not
surprised that my aunt Louise had begun to be attacked by a mental
malady, the trials of her life sufficiently explained this, and I could
also account for several singularities that I had observed in her
attitude towards me of late. She had surprised me much by asking me to
bring back a book of my father's which I had never thought of taking
away. "Return it to me," she said, insisting upon it so strongly, that I
instituted a search for the book, and at last unearthed it from the
bottom of a cupboard where it had been placed, as if on purpose, under a
heap of other books. Julie's prolix narrative only enlightened me as to
the sad cause of what I had taken for the oddity of a fidgety and lonely
old maid. On the other hand, I could not take the ideas of my aunt upon
my father's death so philosophically as Julie accepted them. What were
those ideas? Many a time, in the course of conversation with her, I had
vaguely felt that she was not opening her heart quite freely to me. Her
determined opposition to my plans of a personal inquiry might proceed
from her piety, which would naturally cause her to disapprove of any
thought or project of vengeance, but was there nothing else, nothing
besides that piety in question? Her strange solicitude for my personal
safety, which even led her to entreat me not to go out unarmed in the
evening, or get into an empty compartment in a train, with other
counsels of the same kind, was no doubt caused by morbid excitement;
still her constant and distressing dread might possibly rest upon a less
vague foundation than I imagined. I also recalled, with a certain
apprehension, that so soon as she ceased to be able completely to
control her mind these strange fears took stronger possession of her
than before. "What!" said I to myself, "am I becoming like her, that I
let such things occur to me? Are not these fixed ideas quite natural in
a person whose brain is racked by the mania of persecution, and who has
lost a beloved brother under circumstances equally mysterious and
tragical?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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