the mouth especially, half-hidden by a black moustache cut like my own;
it had no need to open, and cry out: "André, André, remember me!" Ah,
no, my dear dead father, I could not leave you thus, without having done
my utmost to avenge you, and it was only an interview to be faced, only
an interview!
My nervousness gave way to determination at once feverish and
fixed--yes, it was both--and it was in a mood of perfect self-mastery,
that, after a long period of mental conflict, I repaired to the hotel on
the boulevard, with the plan of my discourse clearly laid out. I felt
almost sure of finding my stepfather alone; for my mother was to
breakfast on that day with Madame Bernard. M. Termonde was at home, and,
as I expected, alone in his study. When I entered the room, he was
sitting in a low chair, close to the fire, looking chilly, and smoking.
Like myself in my dark hours, he drugged himself with tobacco. The room
was a large one, and both luxurious and ordinary. A handsome bookcase
lined one of the walls. Its contents were various, ranging from grave
works on history and political economy to the lightest novels of the
day. A large, flat writing-table, on which every kind of
writing-material was carefully arranged, occupied the middle of the
room, and was adorned with photographs in leather cases. These were
portraits of my mother and M. Termonde's father and mother. At least one
prominent trait of its owner's character, his scrupulous attention to
order and correctness of detail, was revealed by the aspect of my
stepfather's study; but this quality, which is common to so many persons
of his position in the world, may belong to the most commonplace
character as well as to the most refined hypocrite. It was not only in
the external order and bearing of his life that my stepfather was
impenetrable, none could tell whether profound thoughts were or were not
hidden behind his politeness and elegance of manner. I had often
reflected on this, at a period when as yet I had no stronger motive for
examining into the recesses of the man's character than curiosity, and
the impression came to me with extreme intensity at the moment when I
entered his presence with a firm resolve to read in the book of his past
life.
We shook hands, I took a seat opposite to his on the other side of the
hearth, lighted a cigar, and said, as if to explain my unaccustomed
presence:
"Mamma is not here?"
"Did she not tell you, the other day, that she was to breakfast with
Madame Bernard? There's an expedition to Lozano's studio,"--Lozano was a
Spanish painter much in vogue just then--"to see a portrait he is
painting of Madame Bernard. Is there anything you want to have told to
your mother?" he added, simply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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