The Strand Magazine, Vol. 01, No. 05, May 1891: An Illustrated MonthlyVarious
General
The Strand Magazine, Vol. 01, No. 05, May 1891: An Illustrated Monthly
Various
English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
"His greatest friend!" They had been merely friends from the day they
parted. He had nothing. Out there he had found fortune but a little
less inaccessible than at home; he had written her no words of love,
for how could there be any hope for them? She had plenty of money, but
that was all the more reason why he must have some. His letters were
not vulgarised by a single passionate, or sentimental, or high-flown
passage. They were the letters of an honest friend; they were the
letters of a good soldier--on the losing side, but fighting, not
talking about fighting--talking, indeed, of quite other matters. And
because these letters had been just what they were, Ted Miller himself
had been to a frivolous girl, through frivolous years, what no one
else had ever been--not even himself as she had known him best. Their
friendship had been pure and strong and strengthening; their love
idealised by improbability, and further by not being discussed, and yet
further by being written "friendship." His tone to her had been: "Enjoy
yourself. I want to hear you're having a good time. _I_ am--there's
nothing like work." She had answered, very truthfully, that she was
doing so; and now he knew how! That was the bitterest thought: that the
new knowledge was now his, and she, in his eyes, just what she had been
in the eyes of the throng!
She sat down and read all his letters. The pure breath of heaven rose
from every leaf. They did not touch her yet: her heart was numb. But
the tones that had once come to her ears from every written word came
no longer--the voice was silenced. She returned the letters to the
drawer. She would keep them till her death.
And yet--would he like that?
She sat very still, trying to answer this question. The candles went
out, but a leaden light had crept into the room through the blinds. She
thought that he saw her, that he had seen her for weeks, that she had
been grieving him the whole time, that she might please him now. There
had been nothing morbid in Miller. He was the one man she had known who
would wish her _not_ to keep his letters.
She rose resolutely from her chair, and with difficulty rekindled
her fire; it ruined her elaborate dress, but she was glad never to
wear this one again. It did not seem to her that she was about to do
anything cruel or unnatural. She was going to do violence to her own
feelings only. It would please the strong soul of Miller that she was
not going to keep his letters, to read them in her better moods, and
less and less as the years went on. For her own part, she felt she
would like to have them a little longer. It was a subtle sense of
sacrifice for Miller's sake--her first--which nerved her to burn his
letters. Over-strung as she was, she burnt them every one, and without
a tear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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