When Kingston Darnley woke, the clouds had broken. Overhead was
the clear vault of stars; beneath, a vast flocculent sea of milky
whiteness. Already the eastern air was lightening with the first green
tremors of dawn, and the warm calm of the night was giving place to the
keen freshness of a new day.
Kingston could rest no longer. He rose, and wandered to and fro across
the summit, thinking out the situation in which he had become involved.
A force too great for his resistance had swept him into its dominion;
so much was certain. The force was hateful, paradoxical, inexplicable.
But its grip was at his throat, and no struggles could extricate him.
The whole face of the world had suddenly changed; hidden things had
been made clear, and things which had once been thought precious and
sufficient were now shown in the light of this strange sunrise to be
altogether false and valueless. No reluctance, no blinking of facts,
no well-meant pretences, could alter the fact that life had suddenly
opened out before him, enormous, passionate, in all its scope, and
that, in the revelation the mountains of bygone days were dwarfed to
molehills.
But these changes ruled only in the secret places of the heart. There
remained the practical aspect of things. In the depths of his soul he
now carried with him a knowledge of what was highest and most glorious
in life, but that knowledge must for ever be buried in the depths. His
own rash action, in the days before he had understood, before he had
been awaked, had put it eternally beyond his power to stretch out his
hands openly, and seize the happiness that his soul had found. Chains
of diamond might bind him now and for ever to this second self that he
had discovered; but chains of his own making, of his own riveting, made
him prisoner to another life, in the lower world of daily existence.
In the clear cold of the dawn the heats and tempests of his brain
seemed to grow calm; he saw more and more clearly into the future and
its possibilities; passion and its stress had given way to a cooler
appraisement of circumstances. His nature, emotional rather than
sensual, helped him to regain his balance. It was on the spiritual,
transcendental side of his feelings that he dwelt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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