Her husband’s attitude was negative and balanced. He threw all his
efforts into making good to Gundred the fraud that he had innocently
perpetrated. He had no need to look at Isabel, to talk to her, to
aggravate the trouble of Gundred’s position. To Kingston and Isabel
their secret glory was glory enough. He even shrank from the idea
of open friendship with the woman whom his heart loved. It was
enough--completely, triumphantly enough--that she should be there in
the same house with him, and that he should be for ever conscious of
her presence and her relationship to himself. That relationship might
have been profaned, spoiled, made common, had they allowed themselves
to indulge in talk, in rapture, in the perilous delights of intimacy.
As things were, it remained a lovely secret possession, a thing between
them both, silent and holy, not to be brought down to earth. The
earthly agonies had passed, or only recurred for fleeting moments. The
privilege of keeping sacred a feeling so absorbing was enough for the
glorification of the present. Morbid and perilous, the situation stood.
A month would probably have destroyed its frail balance. In the nature
of things it could not last. No sane lover could have contemplated its
lasting. But Kingston and Isabel had no plan. They lived from hour to
hour; they did not dare to look forward. Destiny would somehow loose
the knot of their relations. Silent love was enough for the moment.
Their emotions hung breathless on a delicate poise that would not
let them contemplate any to-morrow. Besides, such a transcendental
attitude, so dangerous, so unpractical, so deadly, left Kingston’s
nature free to pay consolatory court to Gundred. With all his external
nature he did homage to his wife, and concentrated his skill on paying
in full to Gundred the debt he owed. Exalted and fantastic, rather than
sensual and practical, his temperament made the task easier than it
might have been found by many better, more full-blooded men. To him it
became rather a fine martyrdom, in the successful achievement of which
lay not only purification, but even pleasure. In the mutilation of the
lower self for the sake of the higher he found a comfort so keen as to
be almost joy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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