His flirtations were abstract, platonic, unearthly--all that a mother
considers most unprofitable, though perilous. The artist, indeed,
can be a sensualist; but the artistic spirit and the sensual have no
real relationship. What attracts the one repels the other, and it is
only within the fierce energetic soul of genius that the two can be
reconciled. Kingston Darnley, without genius, had the artist spirit.
And the artist spirit was for ever showing him fresh superficial
blemishes in the offered maidens--blemishes whose deterrent force his
animalism was not powerful enough to overcome. This one had hands that
didn’t match; that one perpetually wore lace mittens; a third had a
nose that perspired at dances; or an irritating cackle that revealed
a golden tooth. One and all, he liked them--even loved them--in so
far as their minds were clear, pleasant, friendly, lovable. But to be
loved for her mind is the last thing that a well-looking young woman
requires. And when he thought of marrying them, when he considered the
prospect of living for ever with a perspiring nose or a mittened hand,
Kingston revolted at the idea, no matter how precious the soul that
owned the nose or the mitten.
It may be imagined, then, that, whatever his relations with older,
plainer women, settled in life, he was neither popular nor at ease
with the marriageable maidens provided by his mother. In vague
dissatisfaction with his home, he was even anxious to marry and settle
down with some sympathetic, adorable woman--but always that accursed
prosaic aspect of the case came uppermost, and repelled him in horror
from the plan.
Only once had he ever felt what he hoped might be the premonitory
thrill of a really great passion--a passion such as might tide him over
the more difficult questions involved. In this hope he had nurtured
young love; and as love in so many lucky people is a matter of habit
and determination, he had seemed soon to be in a fair way to success.
The girl, too, showed signs of approval, and everything appeared so
prosperous that Lady Adela gave hearty thanks and put half a crown
into the plate, feeling that Heaven had earned more than its customary
shilling. And then one day he had sat with the girl and her aunt in
Kensington Gardens. And the cruel glare of daylight had shown him a
fine colony of down on her nose, and the places whence and where her
maid had transferred a rosette to hide a stain on her gown. All was
over. The girl was everything delightful; but the idea of being bound
eternally to a potentially bearded nose was impossible. Kingston could
no longer bear the thought of marrying, and told his mother that his
hope had proved fallacious. Heaven only got sixpence the next Sunday;
and, even so, it was in coppers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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