British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
Crowds of smiling gnomes, cheerfully hung with other people's
property, stood in rank, gaily responding to the cries of rapture
with which their respective victims singled them out; there were
dramatic meetings between robbers and robbed, joyous recognition of
property and gnome, ecstatic greetings on the part of despoiled
tourists of Numéro Cinq, Numéro Cent, Numéro everything but Quatre.
Agonized inquiries for Numéro Quatre of other brass-plated caps
elicited cheerful replies that he would be here soon; but he was
small and Ermengarde was not over tall; and as gnome after gnome was
recaptured by long-lost owners, and compelled to unload his spoil
upon the long counter, to be marked with mystic runes to a briefly
muttered shibboleth in polyglot accents, and the congested crowd
thinned and melted, and time and strength and the last remnants of
hope in Ermengarde's breast with it, she felt herself on the point of
tears, and was just beginning to drag herself empty-handed to the
long-desired repose of that artistically decorated stateroom, when,
at the far end of the hall, the square and cheerful countenance of
the missing Numéro Quatre was at last discerned, and the whole of his
sins and her sufferings forgotten in an eye-blink.
As for the gnome, he unblushingly commanded his victim to quicken her
trembling steps on pain of losing the train, went through a quick
pantomime at the counter, and dashed off with his spoil at express
speed, followed at a respectful distance by his exhausted prey, whose
fainting spirits rose when at last she saw the long-hoped-for train,
with its vases of mimosa, rose, and sweet double stock in the
restaurant car windows. Very haughtily she handed her ticket to a
magnificently gold-braided person at his demand, expecting to be
respectfully conducted to her place "as to a theatre stall"; and
sighed with deep content, feeling that the great all-compensating
moment of the journey had at last arrived.
But the great gold-braided one, muttering a number to the long-lost
Quatre, merely waved a hand towards a sort of steep companion-ladder,
and turned to resume a broken chat with a friend. The ladder
surmounted, and the gnome having plumped the baggage, sadly reduced
in quantity and possibly in quality, into the first compartment he
came to and vanished with silver in hand, Ermengarde found herself in
a narrow slip of a compartment with a wide and springy seat, a tiny,
hinged slab under the outside window and just room and no more for
the disposal of moderate-sized female limbs without positive
discomfort or involuntary kicks against an oblique wooden partition,
narrowing to the doorway, varnished, and featureless, a large
spittoon filled with water, a fellow traveller with mountains of
hand-baggage, and nothing more. The private dressing-room, the airy
space, the little hinged seats, "should the passenger wish to change
position," etc., where were these?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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